IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Write a 250-word essay for the topic: More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#topic #people #drinks #drink
Nowadays,
people
 drinking more
drinks
 with high concenstration of sugar
instead
 of drinking water.
For example
: cola, energy
drinks
 and juice. It seems that those
drinks
 growing in popularity by a lot of
people
.The downside by drinking those kinds of
drinks
 is health problems like obesity and cavities.
Therefore
people
 need to get inspirit to
drink
 something else
instead
. Firsty, the popularity for the
drinks
 starts with
ads
. By reading those
ads
people
 become more interested and get motivated to buy the
drinks
. Especailly, the younger generatie are very senstive for those
ads
.
Then
, they see other
children
 drinking it and they
also
 want to try it out. Afterwards, there is a change they become interested, and they will buy it more often
instead
 of healthy
drink
. To protect the
children
 the schools can forbid the
children
 to have those
drinks
 inside the school. Another solution can be that the
ads
 are only allowed in adults magazines and around adult tv programs.
Secondly
, in the store the price on the
drinks
 are not expensive. It seems that the healty
drinks
 with the good ingredients are more costly
therefore
 makes it less interesting to purchase those
drinks
. The government can help out by invest in healthy products and put extra taxes on the unhealthy
drinks
.
For example
: soda
drinks
 in another taxes group than water bottles.
This
 way it makes the unhealthy
drinks
 more expensive.
Thirdly
, information and education is the key to get
people
drink
 less unhealthy, by doin advertisments in magazines and teaching
children
 what is healthy
drinks
. By learning what the negative affects are example overweight or bad teeth
people
 can reconsider to start drinking to much
drinks
 with sugar. In conclusion,
people
 like to
drink
 unhealthy
drinks
 with a lot of sugar. Try to prevent that
people
 get healthy problems they to be informed with the risk, and
also
 the governement can help by making the costs of the
drinks
 higher and the healthy
drinks
 cheaper.
Submitted by annemariebloemberg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: