IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

some people believe that parents should be responsible for encouraging their children to take regular exercise . others argue that the main responsibility for encouraging children to do so should lie with school . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #exercise #responsibility #school
The line graph compares the proportion of release of carbon dioxide (CO2) in metric
tonnes
 for every person in four European countries between 1967 and 2007. It is clear that the average
amount
 per individual is declining in the United Kingdom and Sweden.
However
, it is increasing in Italy and Portugal. From 1967 to 2007, the United Kingdom was the highest country emitting CO2 per person. The UK figure
Correct your spelling
decreased
show examples
deceased
Correct your spelling
decreased
show examples
 gradually from 11 metric
tonnes
 in 1967 to 9 metric
tonnes
 in 2007. In Sweden,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of produced CO2 was about 9 metric
tonnes
 in 1967, and it increased steadily till it reached its maximum in 1977 by about 10.5 metric
tonnes
. During the following 30 years, it dropped to nearly 7.5 metric
tonnes
 in 2007.
Italy
Change noun form
Italy's
show examples
 CO2 emissions
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 about 4.5 metric
tonnes
 in 1967.
This
amount
 nearly doubled in 2007. In 1967, Portugal was the lowest country to emit CO2 by 1.5 metric
tonnes
for
Change preposition
per
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
, but
this
 did not
last
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the end of the 40-year period as it increased significantly to reach 7.5 metric
tonnes
 in 2007, the same
amount
 produced by Sweden in the same year.
Submitted by drahmedibrahim91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: