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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say students of different age groups in school should be put in the same class? What is your opinion?

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A concourse of people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
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 that
students
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 of different ages should be taught in the same
class
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. I completely disagree with
this
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 idea as the learning capacity of
students
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 varies with
age
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 and it may force the younger
students
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 to follow the misbehaviours of the
elder
Correct your spelling
older
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 ones.
To begin
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 with, older children have higher cognitive skills which make it possible for them to grasp advanced concepts relatively easily.
For instance
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, a ten-year-old can grasp things more easily than a five-year-old and
hence
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 if they are taught together neither will benefit. If the lessons are tweaked to suit the learning capacity of the younger
students
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, the older
students
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 will gain nothing from attending the
class
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.
By contrast
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, if the lessons are designed for the seniors in the
class
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, the juniors will not understand anything. In short, neither will benefit from
this
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 arrangement.
Furthermore
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, another disadvantage of teaching
students
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 of different ages in the same
class
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 is that it will unnecessarily expose the juniors in the
class
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 to the bad habits of seniors. To illustrate, a survey in the UK revealed that 80% of young
students
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 are bullied by seniors and are forced to try drugs in schools.
This
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 peer pressure can push a child into various illegal activities which they will not commit if they are studying with
students
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 of their
age
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.
To sum up
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, putting
students
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 of different ages in the same
class
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 is not a good idea, as it can affect a child’s learning skills and may
also
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 expose them to things that are not appropriate for their
age
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.
Hence
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, it is recommended that schools consider the
age
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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while
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 enrolling
students
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 into different classes.

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task response
Ensure to address all aspects of the task question and provide a specific and clear viewpoint. Provide a balanced and detailed response to the task statement, considering both positive and negative aspects.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but ensure that they are more specific and directly relate to the main points discussed. Work on using cohesive devices to link ideas throughout the essay, making the progression of the argument clear to the reader.
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