Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development

Nowadays, a number of individuals prefer using some kind of

devices

Fix the agreement mistake

device

show examples

such

laptop

Correct article usage

a laptop

show examples

or phone to transact

money

online. From my point of ,view

this

is a positive perspective.

This

day

, online

money

sending is getting popular ,especially in big and urbanized countries, because

this

is one of the most popular and most common ways to transact

money

to someone, whenever people want to do it, when or where. A number of international and national banks are trying to work online by using their own online websites or applications to service clients. On the other ,hand there can be situations when a person is not able to go even to the nearest

bank

because of his or her time management or working process, so at that time they are able to transfer

money

by using his or her device, from other side banks are always out of work on Saturdays or Sundays, perhaps

this

is the main reason why people prefer using online

bank

transaction services.

However

, despite online transfers is getting popular, it does not mean almost everyone is able to use online

bank

accounts by themselves, if there will be transacted a huge amount of

money

, that time they need help from

bank

experts, because almost every

day

,every

third

person is losing his or her

money

while transacting it, of ,course internet hackers. These kinds of online thieves are easily able to steal individuals'

bank

accounts if they know the verification codes of users, perhaps so that many people are afraid of these guys and try to have a deal with international or national banks. In conclusion, modern technology is getting more popular7

day

, so it requires its own modern users too.

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To want extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory for in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that there are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.