Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situatuion. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, those who have a field of work in
art
, receive more revenue rather than people who work in other spheres. For that reason, governments should find ways to stop
such
injustice. To some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
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I agree with
this
point of view,
although
this
opinion has both positive and negative outcomes which will be considered below.
To begin
with, some
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
cost an enormous amount of money because they are made by
genius
Add an article
the genius
show examples
and talented people, so why their works can not be expensive?
Moreover
, artists like other specialists in different fields can reach
Correct your spelling
heights
show examples
hights
Correct your spelling
heights
show examples
as well as the bottom of their spheres, so I suppose their salaries are compared with their talent.
For example
, there are some artists like Banksy whose works are thought to be
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the top of the
art
while there are
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others who are not talented enough to receive huge funds.
Consequently
, officials should encourage artists for their
piece
Fix the agreement mistake
pieces
show examples
of
art
, rather than deprive them of deserved salaries.
On the other hand
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
arts
Add an article
the arts
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have inadequate prices for unknown reasons while their creators
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have even a special education.
Furthermore
, there are some essential jobs
such
as doctors, teachers or
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firemen
firemans
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firemen
show examples
which
does
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do
show examples
not bring any revenue for those who decided to
chose
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choose
show examples
them.
For example
, in some countries teachers or doctors have to survive due to the fact that they do not have enough money to feed their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
and
theyself
Correct your spelling
thyself
.
Therefore
, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of local authorities to
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find
show examples
fins
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find
show examples
ways how to deal with that issue. To conclude,
although
there are some jobs valued more than others, I suppose there is no
any
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apply
show examples
injustice due to the fact that individuals receive their sums as they deserved it while governments have to consider
a
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the
show examples
salary question more properly.
Submitted by nejo.quol on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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