IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

#people #choices
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A group of
people
Use synonyms
 opines that at present, we have lots of opportunities to select. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 proposition and will discuss relevant points along with precise examples and back up my view.
First
Linking Words
 of all, nowadays we get many
products
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different brands, which was not possible
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 decades ago so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we have many
option
Change to a plural noun
options
show examples
 to
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 anything.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 would buy only Nescafe coffee many years ago, because they were no other companies available, but consumers are now buying different brands
Use synonyms
products
Change preposition
of products
show examples
 according to their choice.
Secondly
Linking Words
, at present
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 are living luxurious
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 than before,
as a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to buy any
products
Use synonyms
 which were not possible
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
decades ago.
For instance
Linking Words
,
century
Add an article
a century
show examples
 ago
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 did not develop industrialization,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a consequence,
people
Use synonyms
 did not have
scope
Correct article usage
the scope
show examples
 to work despite their willingness.
However
Linking Words
 now
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 can earn money because of available work opportunities which help them to choose materials.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are now well educated, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can easily discriminate
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 different
products
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
, they can easily choose many
products
Use synonyms
 according to their needs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, now
communication
Correct article usage
the communication
show examples
 system is excellent
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to transport goods anywhere,
as a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 get many options to select
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
 to illustrate, 50 years ago Bangladeshi
people
Use synonyms
 did not know Western development
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 without
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most of the migrants went to Saudi Arabia.
However
Linking Words
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 are now educated, so they want to go USA or UK because they
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 developed countries. in conclusion, now a group of
people
Use synonyms
trusts
Correct subject-verb agreement
trust
show examples
 they have more than one option to select and
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 these facilities so I restate my opinion again and proved that.
Submitted by kazishihab on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: