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Band 5.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subject that will be useful in the future, such as science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #university #students #study #future #science #technology
Many people believe that
students
 should learn the
subjects
 of their own
choice
 in university, while others think that they should
study
 the
subjects
 which are currently important. There has been a heated debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
this
 scheme can provide benefit to our society or not. In
this
 essay, I shall elaborate
my
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on my
show examples
 point of view analyzing both sides of the argument before deducing a proper conclusion.
First
 of all, the former statement emphasises
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apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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the
choice
 of
students
 in their studies.
Students
 should have the complete authority to choose their
subjects
, as if they have
subjects
 of their own
choice
, they will learn through these
subjects
 with full passion.
For example
, if a student
Correct your spelling
chooses
Correct your spelling
chooses
choses
Correct your spelling
chooses
chose
 to
study
 arts and he gains good grades,
then
 in
future
, he will pursue his career as an artist.
Secondly
, the
choice
 of
students
 in studies always
matter
Change the verb form
matters
show examples
, because it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to perform
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 in their academic approach. All these merits stand in
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good stead. Moving
further
, some people believe that
students
 should
study
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subject which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 useful in
future
 like science and technology.
This
 is not an ideal situation,
as
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apply
show examples
if a child
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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 his learning due to the pressure of his elders, he cannot perform well, because he is mentally distracted and cannot fully take part in his educational work.
As a result
, he failed and his
future
 goals were
also
 destroyed.
For example
, one of my
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 Ali was very good at painting and wanted to be a painter, but his parents wanted him to be a doctor. They admitted him
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to
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in
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to
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 a medical college, but after so many attempts he failed and his
future
 was
also
 destroyed due to his
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
 will. To recapitulate, in my opinion, parents and society should allow the
students
 to
study
 of their own
choice
 which is good for their physical and mental health and they will make progress in the fields of their own
choice
.
Submitted by howdareuhh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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