Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a controversial issue whether
government
funding should spend on nurturing professional
athletes
or encouraging
children
to play
sports
from a young age. As far as I am concerned, I tend to believe funding should be contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
advocating for more
children
to join
sports
from a young age. On the one hand, many people hold a
view
that
government
should put more funding into the preparation of professional
players
. The main reason for
this
view
is that
athletes
who represent the
nation
to participate in worldwide competitions are those professional
players
who have already
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
certain types of
sports
for many years. It is reasonable for
government
constantly invest in them so as to increase their chance to be champions in major competitions. Another reason for
this
view
is
that top
Change the determiner
that top player
those top players
show examples
players
are representations of a
nation
. If an athlete wins a prize in a big competition, not only
this
player can benefit from it but
also
the
nation
can gain fame and fortune.
On the other hand
. I tend to support the
view
that spending more money on encouraging
children
to participate in
sports
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can benefit the whole of society.
Firstly
, it is commonly believed that
children
are the future of a
nation
. If more money spends on encouraging
children
to play
sports
, potential
sports
superstars will be more likely to be dug out, which cultivates the competitiveness of a
nation
.
Secondly
, it is
also
beneficial for
children
themselves to participate in different
sports
, even though they would probably be not suitable to become a professional
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
. As they can be provided
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
way to relax their body and mind as well as interact with their peers, which is vital in their life.
Finally
, it is a disputable fact that
government
will be more likely to experience financial burden if they focus more on funding professional
athletes
. As is widely accepted, it is
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
Change noun form
governments'
government's
show examples
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
and nations’ responsibility to give monthly or yearly pay for professional
athletes
.
However
, their salary is usually much higher than other positions and the
government
budget is limited, especially those
less-developed
Change preposition
in less-developed
show examples
countries. To sum up, it is
nevertheless
to say that funding professional
players
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a must,
However
Fix capitalization
however
show examples
, more financial investment in encouraging kids to play
sports
will have a prolonged effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the whole
nation
.
Submitted by yawenou07089 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!