Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #people

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these days actors and athletes are becoming role models for youngsters,for their lifestyle and to show off their achievements because ,wealth comes with most hard work ,without it nothing will get. henceforth

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strongly agree that by watching movies, or advertisements they are thinking that if they become famous

personality

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personalities

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they can earn so much money by playing a

role play

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role-play

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instead

Linking Words

of doing their wone business ,but we can not assume that all

the

Correct article usage

apply

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youngsters are the same ,some are want becoming

athlete

Add an article

an athlete

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as it's him/her passion ,

towant

Correct your spelling

to want

bring the name to the country one thing is if one becomes a politician or athlete,

actor

Correct word choice

or actor

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,it gives recognition ,people identify where ever they go

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apply

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and

also

Linking Words

follows

Correct subject-verb agreement

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what they say suppose kids like to follow what their favourite person says they like to become the same suppose sachintendoolkar is favourite cricket player so most of the youth like to play the cricket ,PV Sindhu is famous tennis player ,nowadays kids

also

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learning it and the no is increased than before, it's not all the time bad in some cases it happens ,it

also

Linking Words

depends on

person-to-person

Add an article

the person-to-person

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perception of how they receive,

such

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cases it gives bad results in ,conclusion glamour world means for entertainment purposes it will be okay

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apply

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if we take into a personal life that will not work out ,we have to watch movies or sports for relaxation purposes,or sports should be considered as serious goals that give health as well as wealth to.

Submitted by karuna.mk220 on Wed Dec 07 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

246 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

superficial attributes
sensationalism
idolize
materialism
philanthropy
glamour
achievements
role models
humanitarian
influence
media portrayal
public adoration
celebrity worship
young individuals
unrealistic standards
intellectual success
public interest
professional recognition

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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

Topic: Obesity is a major healthy problem. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, health care and education are only partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree of disagree?