children today spend more time watching TV than they did in the past Doscribe some advantage and disadvantages of watching tv for children

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In our world, there are a lot of good inventions that affect our lives.
Television
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is one of these inventions. Watching
TV
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for
children
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has a positive development
although
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it may lead to adverse ramifications.
This
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essay agrees that watching
television
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is useful for
children
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.
This
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essay will discuss both sides of view. First of all, watching
TV
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may help
children
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in the learning process in our society at present. To illustrate, kids may develop skills when watching education platforms.
For example
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, my 2-year-old nephew has improved in memorizing numbers and letters since he saw the Sesame Series, as it gives information in an impressive way.
In addition
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to that, looking at the screen is a kind of entertainment to a large extent. To explain that
children
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can have a lot of fun
while
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watching
TV
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.
For instance
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, my friend's daughter enjoys watching songs and cartoons as she can interact and dance.
On the other hand
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, spending too much
time
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watching
television
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for
children
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can risk their health.
In other words
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, some studies indicate that
children
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who sit for a long
time
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daily in front of the
TV
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may be vulnerable to brain problems, as
this
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leads to a decrease in their level of concentration. To give a clear example, my cousin watched
TV
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most of the
time
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, which resulted in obstacles for him in school
due to
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his lack of concentration. Not only that but sitting for a lot of
time
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on screen may lead to social isolation. As explained, if they spend all day on
television
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, they may not have friends.
For example
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, my little brother does not play with other
children
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and just prefers to watch cartoons. In conclusion, after a detailed analysis of both the advantages and disadvantages of watching
TV
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for kids. I believe that moderate use of
TV
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is very beneficial since
children
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can be educated and have fun.
Submitted by btool.taher on

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coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more for improved readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples that relate directly to both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Clarify your stance from the beginning, elucidating whether you lean more towards the advantages or disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, making the essay more persuasive and engaging.
task achievement
The writing is clear and comprehensible, with minimal grammatical errors.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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