children today spend more time watching TV than they did in the past Doscribe some advantage and disadvantages of watching tv for children

In our world, there are a lot of good inventions that affect our lives.
Television
is one of these inventions. Watching
TV
for
children
has a positive development
although
it may lead to adverse ramifications.
This
essay agrees that watching
television
is useful for
children
.
This
essay will discuss both sides of view. First of all, watching
TV
may help
children
in the learning process in our society at present. To illustrate, kids may develop skills when watching education platforms.
For example
, my 2-year-old nephew has improved in memorizing numbers and letters since he saw the Sesame Series, as it gives information in an impressive way.
In addition
to that, looking at the screen is a kind of entertainment to a large extent. To explain that
children
can have a lot of fun
while
watching
TV
.
For instance
, my friend's daughter enjoys watching songs and cartoons as she can interact and dance.
On the other hand
, spending too much
time
watching
television
for
children
can risk their health.
In other words
, some studies indicate that
children
who sit for a long
time
daily in front of the
TV
may be vulnerable to brain problems, as
this
leads to a decrease in their level of concentration. To give a clear example, my cousin watched
TV
most of the
time
, which resulted in obstacles for him in school
due to
his lack of concentration. Not only that but sitting for a lot of
time
on screen may lead to social isolation. As explained, if they spend all day on
television
, they may not have friends.
For example
, my little brother does not play with other
children
and just prefers to watch cartoons. In conclusion, after a detailed analysis of both the advantages and disadvantages of watching
TV
for kids. I believe that moderate use of
TV
is very beneficial since
children
can be educated and have fun.
Submitted by btool.taher on

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coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more for improved readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples that relate directly to both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Clarify your stance from the beginning, elucidating whether you lean more towards the advantages or disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, making the essay more persuasive and engaging.
task achievement
The writing is clear and comprehensible, with minimal grammatical errors.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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