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Writing Samples
Band 5

Music has been and will continue to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#music #language #mankind
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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
are
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 addicted to
music
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. It is the only
language
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 that
changed
Wrong verb form
changes
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people
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's moods. It is not only popular these days but it has
also
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 been popular in ancient
years
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. I am in favour of
this
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 point of view because it would bring a lot of benefits for
people
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. My explanation is in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,
music
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 is only one
language
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 that brings
people
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 together.
Music
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 has been continuing for ancient
years
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. In the past
years
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,
people
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 performed their musical culture in different cities, states and different countries to show their culture.
As a result
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,
people
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 saw the different cultures and lifestyles among the
people
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.
Moreover
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, these days
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also
Rephrase
apply
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music
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 artists perform the different areas same as part but it is called concerts. It
also
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 shows the
people
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's lifestyle and culture.
For example
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, recently, Koren's band is trending which is called BTS. The youngster liked
this
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 band because they showed the
Koren
Correct your spelling
Korean
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 lifestyle and it represents their country.
In addition
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, when
people
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 are bored with their work or studies, they listen to
music
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 and
get
Verb problem
apply
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relax. It is the only thing that gets relaxed and calm. Scientists
scientific
Correct word choice
apply
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research the reason why
people
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 are calm when they listen to
music
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. They proved that a
music
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 tune is calm to the mind because
this
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 tune is directly linked with the nervous system so makes feel relaxed. In conclusion,
music
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 is a universal
language
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 which gets
people
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 together in different regions and different cultures. It worked in ancient
years
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 and it would
also
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 work the same way in the future.
Hence
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, I agree with
this
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 point
music
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 is only one worldwide
language
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.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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lexical resource
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