IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museums outweigh/outnumber the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #advantage #people
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There are a big number of museums that receive money to let people visit them, on the other ,hand some are totally admission free. In my ,opinion
although
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 there may be some drawbacks
such
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 as losing some followers, the benefits like more public appreciation
themoutnumber
Correct your spelling
them outnumber
.
First
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 and foremost, when audiences are supposed to pay for entrance into public artifice places, it will have so many wonderful outcomes,
such
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 as they pay more attention to the artworks due to the fact that they were made to pay in order to
themsee
Correct your spelling
them see
.
Therefore
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, they understand their value of them. It has been proved when you put invaluable art in front of everyone’s eyes, they do not tend to care about it, like the time when well-recognized violin player Antonio Sevrogin played at the metro station, no one even noticed how amazing he was playing but the same passengers would buy tickets to his concert. So, when money is expended, the real worthiness is more appreciated. The most significant issue about
this
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 idea is that it makes
artworks
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artwork
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 only a privilege for specific parts of society and makes them luxury things, which is terribly awful since art belongs from pole to pole and there is no denying the fact that all parts of society whether poor or rich should be able to indulge themselves in it.
In addition
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, artistic intelligence should not have to do anything with money.
For example
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, a friend of mine called Sara who was so passionate about deadpan photography was not able to afford a MOCA ticket,
therefore
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 she became too sad that she changed her photography genre. To conclude, I discussed the most important advantage and disadvantages of
this
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 topic which were making people appreciate the preciousness of artworks
,
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 and talking about the fact that it does not belong to only the wealthy groups of society.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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