some people believe that Pop stars certainly earn their money. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

time, more and more

people

Use synonyms

are attracted by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

. They purchase their products and other expensive things and waste their

compalsation

Correct your spelling

compensation

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

consider that music and other famous

people

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

started

strated

Correct your spelling

started

to earn more

money

Use synonyms

. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

my agreement are explained in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,

audience

Add an article

the audience

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

more showing

interset

Correct your spelling

interest

show examples

towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

.when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

do some advertisement or wear branded clothes so locals

also

Linking Words

think that my

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

person

wear

Change the verb form

wears

show examples

that so

Change the capitalization

show examples

should

also

Linking Words

buy that.

thus

Linking Words

the sales of products

goes

Change the verb form

show examples

high and the demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

high.

Correct your spelling

That's

That

That is

Thats

Correct your spelling

That's

show examples

why the organisers spend more

money

Use synonyms

towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

modern

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

era,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

kpop

Correct your spelling

pop

idols are earning more

money

Use synonyms

because crowds are following them,

also

Linking Words

purchase

Wrong verb form

purchasing

show examples

their products and whenever they post on youtube about their music so the public is streaming to

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

all platforms and increasing their views.

Therefore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

pop

kpop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

idols are gaining much more popularity and remuneration.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, After the

pandemic

Add a comma

,pandemic

show examples

the citizens are

Correct your spelling

loving

loveing

Correct your spelling

loving

more pop stars. Even they

also

Linking Words

collect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

for concerts

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and buy lightsticks. On social platforms more are more youngsters are streaming the songs like Spotify, YouTube and other

Correct your spelling

fields

files

fileds

Correct your spelling

films

. So

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

people

Use synonyms

collect more

money

Use synonyms

with the use of

this

Linking Words

context.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, youngsters should stop

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

wasting their time on

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

Correct your spelling

application

applications

applucations

Correct your spelling

applications

and other

thingsthings

Correct your spelling

things things

. Youth should focus on their study rather than

Linking Words

this things

Change the determiner

this thing

these things

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because some

celebrities

Use synonyms

are not even saw

Change the verb form

do not even saw

show examples

the efforts

who

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can do for them. To conclude, it is good

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

to pop

starts

Correct your spelling

stars

show examples

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

money

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

they should

also

Linking Words

contribute the

money

Use synonyms

towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. So more

people

Use synonyms

are liking them.

shafvanmalek13Wed Dec 07 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that getting the degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into the work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is argued that the best way to get a good job is by having a university degree, while others disagree and think that the most significant factor in securing good employment is having skills and experience. While knowledge from university jobs is needed, I believe that knowledge from school with skills and experience is more important.
7.5
band
“Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library.Which should your school choose to buy - computers or books ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.”
There is no doubt that education can be provided through different means. Although some people believe in the supremacy of technology, I would argue that books are an innate method of learning, therefore the school should put their funds into books.
8
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that food and drink with high levels of sugar can lead to many health issues. Some people argue that the prices of these products should be regulated to be even higher than they currently are in order to let people have a healthier consumption. In my opinion, however, I completely disagree with this argument, and I think there are various ways can tackle the problem.
6
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is a common belief that competition is of paramount importance in our life, while others assert the opinion that cooperation is more necessary than the aforementioned issue. This essay attempts to shed light on perspectives before concluding that I am in favor of the latter notion.
7
band
It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
The topic of obesity has become a major debate in recent years. Some people argue that one of the main issues of obesity is fast food. And they believe that the government should place a tax to lower the amount of fast food consumed.

some people believe that Pop stars certainly earn their money. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that getting the degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into the work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

“Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library.Which should your school choose to buy - computers or books ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.”

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.