The government alone cannot be expected to solve environmental problems. It is also the responsibility of businesses and individuals to help. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that the national administration is responsible for the whole environmental crisis and its solution.

However

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, worldwide organizations claim that each person has their own role in

this

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situation. There is no denying that big industries are one of the main causes of the problem. My own view on the matter is that the government should play its role but people should

also

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make little changes in their lifestyle.

Firstly

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, statal agencies are in charge of making new regulations in order to minimize the environmental issues produced by the country, meaning that they are ultimately responsible for the solution to the crisis. At the same time, businesses are the producers of the majority of the pollution,

as a result

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, they

also

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should take responsibility and start taking measures to improve the situation.

Likewise

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, the government should implement policies that allow the population to help with

this

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issue.

For example

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, teaching and providing information to children at schools about how to recycle.

In addition

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, companies could impart courses for their workers showing them how to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels or minimise the amount of food waste.

Furthermore

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, social media and public television play an important role in the situation, because they are able to reach young people.

Consequently

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, making advertisements about how small changes could improve environmental problems should be primordial. To summarize,

although

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the government alone is able to make important changes, these are not enough.

Therefore

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appealing to the commitment of everyone should be essential so as to make a better place to live.

lusitusi:) Fri Dec 06 2024

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What works well

task achievement

The essay thoughtfully discusses the respective roles of government, businesses, and individuals in addressing environmental issues, clearly conveying the mutual responsibility involved.

coherence cohesion

Good use of transitional phrases and logical sequencing of ideas aids in the delivery of a coherent argument.

coherence cohesion

A well-defined structure is employed, with a clear introduction outlining the issues and a conclusion summarizing the main points.

Improvement Suggestions

task achievement

Make use of specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, showing how individuals and businesses can contribute concretely to solving environmental issues.

task achievement

Ensure that all main points are developed with sufficient detail that aligns with the central thesis statement, strengthening the argument.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the overall flow of the essay, making connections between points smoother.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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The government alone cannot be expected to solve environmental problems. It is also the responsibility of businesses and individuals to help. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What works well

Improvement Suggestions

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourist in the 1960s and 70s, they return home with no experience of the local culture. Why do you think this happen? How was tourism different in the past?

In the future, the main reasons for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people like to do their everyday shopping at large supermarkets. Others want to go to several small stores or local markets to buy what they need. Which style of shopping do you prefer and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

2020-01-11: You visited a town last month and told your friend that you would like to meet. However, you could not make it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: express your apology why you could not meet making arrangements to meet him.