The government alone cannot be expected to solve environmental problems. It is also the responsibility of businesses and individuals to help. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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What works well
3The essay thoughtfully discusses the respective roles of government, businesses, and individuals in addressing environmental issues, clearly conveying the mutual responsibility involved.
Good use of transitional phrases and logical sequencing of ideas aids in the delivery of a coherent argument.
A well-defined structure is employed, with a clear introduction outlining the issues and a conclusion summarizing the main points.
Improvement Suggestions
3Make use of specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, showing how individuals and businesses can contribute concretely to solving environmental issues.
Ensure that all main points are developed with sufficient detail that aligns with the central thesis statement, strengthening the argument.
Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the overall flow of the essay, making connections between points smoother.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.