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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, think there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Imprisonment is the most common way to punish people when they do anything illegal.
Depends
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Depending
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 on the seriousness, lawbreakers can get longer sentences which may reduce crime rates.
On the other hand
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, others think that there are better ways to
deterrent
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deter
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criminals
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 than just to jail them longer. In my opinion, giving them a longer
Correct your spelling
sentence
setence
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sentence
 is more practical and persuasive than using other types of treatment. Many people believe that giving inmates a chance to change their life is better because they can have
time
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 and opportunity to think about the consequences of what they have done. Take education as an example, it provides a suitable environment for prisoners to learn and practice. They can be taught about laws, policies, psychology, etc. By teaching those, they can improve their mindset and raise their awareness about what they have done so they have a chance to correct their mistakes.
Moreover
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,
government
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the government
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 should impose and improve social
welfares
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welfare
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 to help rehabilitate inmates
to
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in
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the
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apply
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society,
hence
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,
reduce
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reducing
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 crime rates as they won’t
reoffend
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re-offend
 again just for money.
However
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, those solutions can only apply to petty
criminals
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 and they make no
impacts
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impact
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 on the serious ones.
Although
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 education has many benefits
toward
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for
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criminals
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, it
also
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 has some considerable flaws.
Firstly
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, professionals can get much more information from learning
improving
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and improving
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 their performance in illegal activities.
Secondly
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, by learning laws and policies, they can find big holes
of
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in
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 it to take advantage making their crimes hard to convict. Longer
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sentences
sequences
setences
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sentences
,
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apply
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 might be a good way to both punish them and send a strong message to would-be
criminals
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. It will give them more
time
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 to think about what they have done.
Moreover
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, if they still have
conscience
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a conscience
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, they will be tormented until they change
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their
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they
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the
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 habits.
Also
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, giving inmates too much freedom doesn’t seem to be fair to the victim’s family since they have made
such
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 a significant impact
to
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on
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 both physical and mental bodies
in
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apply
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which couldn’t be forgiven. They will suffer the same thing their victim felt at that
time
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.
Therefore
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, it is necessarily evil to those bad faces and it
also
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 sends out a strong message to prevent criminality. Overall, longer imprisonment
time
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 can be more effective than other methods as it keeps a strong deterrent to prevent people to do illegal things.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitating
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • underlying issues
  • desperation
  • community service
  • mental health support
  • reintegration
  • prevention
  • offenders
  • punitive measures
  • support systems
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