IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Due to many human activites animals and plants life is in danger. Some think that this cannot be changed. Some think that government should do something. Discuss bothe views and give your opinion.

#activites #animals #plants #life #danger #think #government #bothe
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there has been considerable debate about a lot of human activities that have a negative effect on
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argued that
this
Linking Words
 cannot be changed
while
Linking Words
 others
people
Use synonyms
 believed that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should solve problems. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides and
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
 my opinion. On the one hand, reasons why some
people
Use synonyms
 trust
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot be resolved. One of the significant causes of
this
Linking Words
 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 food industry. Nowadays, humans have built many factories
for producing
Change preposition
to produce
show examples
 their diets, which is the main factor for living.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason,
animals
Use synonyms
 (
such
Linking Words
 as fish, meat, and pork) and plants are important to manufacture for responding to human needs and
people
Use synonyms
 must consumption every day.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 used by food industries around the world all the time. A well-known example
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
canned-fish
Correct your spelling
canned fish
show examples
factories, there were consumed a large
number
Use synonyms
 of fish to produce and export for customers. There
were have
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 a problem if they
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of products because they not only have a lack of income but buyers
also
Linking Words
 shortage of their meals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should do something before the ecosystem of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 damaged, which may
impact
Wrong verb form
have impacted
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world in recent years. First of all, the
government
Use synonyms
 has the power to limit and manage population activities in their countries. The
government
Use synonyms
 should create laws for caring environment, rule out
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
 must not invade private forests or limit the
number
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 hunted per year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the penalty is
also
Linking Words
 essential too, if nobody contravenes the laws he should be paid for repairing. In my opinion, I believe that the damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the ecosystem, which is
made
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 by
people
Use synonyms
's activities, can
change
Wrong verb form
be changed
show examples
 by the
government
Use synonyms
 in terms of laws.
Submitted by itemtofan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: