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Band 4

Due to many human activites animals and plants life is in danger. Some think that this cannot be changed. Some think that government should do something. Discuss bothe views and give your opinion.

#activites #animals #plants #life #danger #think #government #bothe
In recent years, there has been considerable debate about a lot of human activities that have a negative effect on
animals
 and plants. Some
people
 argued that
this
 cannot be changed
while
 others
people
 believed that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should solve problems. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides and
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
 my opinion. On the one hand, reasons why some
people
 trust
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot be resolved. One of the significant causes of
this
 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 food industry. Nowadays, humans have built many factories
for producing
Change preposition
to produce
show examples
 their diets, which is the main factor for living.
For
this
 reason,
animals
 (
such
 as fish, meat, and pork) and plants are important to manufacture for responding to human needs and
people
 must consumption every day.
Therefore
, the
number
 of
animals
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 used by food industries around the world all the time. A well-known example
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
canned-fish
Correct your spelling
canned fish
show examples
factories, there were consumed a large
number
 of fish to produce and export for customers. There
were have
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 a problem if they
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 the
number
 of products because they not only have a lack of income but buyers
also
 shortage of their meals.
On the other hand
, some
people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should do something before the ecosystem of
animals
 and plants
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 damaged, which may
impact
Wrong verb form
have impacted
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world in recent years. First of all, the
government
 has the power to limit and manage population activities in their countries. The
government
 should create laws for caring environment, rule out
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
 must not invade private forests or limit the
number
 of
animals
 hunted per year.
Moreover
, the penalty is
also
 essential too, if nobody contravenes the laws he should be paid for repairing. In my opinion, I believe that the damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the ecosystem, which is
made
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 by
people
's activities, can
change
Wrong verb form
be changed
show examples
 by the
government
 in terms of laws.
Submitted by itemtofan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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