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Band 3.5

IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh
In numerous countries,
fraction
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a fraction
the fraction
show examples
 of elderly people that still live with their progenitors, after education and getting a job become progressively increase. As far as I'm concerned,
this
 is beneficial in some ways
,
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apply
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but has
more
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a more
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 detrimental effect on both
parents
 and their child.
Firstly
,
negative
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the negative
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 side of being
a
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apply
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homesick will essentially influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
. To be more precise , after a retirement individual principally
wanting
Wrong verb form
want
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 their leisure time with discovering
a
Correct article usage
the
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 world or just
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rest without any anxieties .
Therefore
 pensioners with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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full-grown child
correspondingly
Add a missing verb
are correspondingly
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 overwhelmed and not fulfilled with their life .
Secondly
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,Secondly
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 individuals that pursue only
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
parents
. All
their
Change preposition
of their
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 existence
,
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apply
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 will inevitably be
weak
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the weak
a weak
show examples
link
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links
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 in modern society .
On the other hand
 , there are several positive aspects like
a
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apply
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taking care of
Add an article
a parent
the parent
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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. Individuals after 60
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 many health problems ,
hence
 their
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 keep
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 eye on them .
For instance
 in Japan with a most substantial average statistical life expectancy ,
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
Correct your spelling
of
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od
Correct your spelling
of
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 adults that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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still live with
parents
 related to afflictions . To sum up, without contemplating
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 sides associated with emergency situations, negative aspects are
overwhelmingly
Replace the adverb
overwhelming
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, since
homesickers
Correct your spelling
homesickness
 , badly bias on
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 as well as
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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 life too
Submitted by argyn-34 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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