IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh

In numerous countries,

fraction

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a fraction

the fraction

show examples

of elderly people that still live with their progenitors, after education and getting a job become progressively increase. As far as I'm concerned,

this

is beneficial in some ways

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apply

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but has

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a more

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detrimental effect on both

parents

and their child.

Firstly

negative

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the negative

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side of being

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apply

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homesick will essentially influence

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apply

show examples

parents

. To be more precise , after a retirement individual principally

wanting

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want

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their leisure time with discovering

Correct article usage

the

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world or just

having

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apply

show examples

rest without any anxieties .

Therefore

pensioners with

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apply

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full-grown child

correspondingly

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are correspondingly

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overwhelmed and not fulfilled with their life .

Secondly

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,Secondly

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individuals that pursue only

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apply

show examples

their

parents

. All

their

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of their

show examples

existence

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apply

show examples

will inevitably be

weak

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the weak

a weak

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link

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links

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in modern society .

On the other hand

, there are several positive aspects like

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apply

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taking care of

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a parent

the parent

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parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

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. Individuals after 60

having

Wrong verb form

have

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many health problems ,

hence

their

adolescent

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adolescents

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keep

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show examples

eye on them .

For instance

in Japan with a most substantial average statistical life expectancy ,

proportion

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the proportion

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Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct your spelling

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adults that

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

still live with

parents

related to afflictions . To sum up, without contemplating

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

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sides associated with emergency situations, negative aspects are

overwhelmingly

Replace the adverb

overwhelming

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, since

homesickers

Correct your spelling

homesickness

, badly bias on

them selves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

as well as

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

life too

Submitted by argyn-34 on Wed Dec 07 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many nations, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccinations in order to prevent the spread of disease. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Despite better access to education, some adults are not able to read or write. What are the main disadvantages of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?