IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in?

#people #town #city #place
Living in a big
city
 might be a better option to make my life easier, more comfortable and earn a lot of money. I could easily access many places or transportation. In my country, residents, healthcare, and other social infrastructures in a small
town
 are far away from one another and would take much effort to go sometimes it caused much negative to our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. My experience was compelling as an example of
this
. When I was 8 years old, I lived in a small
town
 and I got sick. My parents were so worried about me because even the nearest hospital to my house was taken almost an hour to go to.
On the other hand
, If I lived in a
city
, It might take just
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
5 to 10 minutes to reach a hospital and to the doctor’s charge very soon. A
city
also
 has public transportation
such
 as the subway, Skytrain, and taxi which a small
town
 doesn’t. It makes
such
 a comfortable trip to visit a place and do activities. But in a small
town
, I could not go anywhere if I didn’t have my own vehicle.
Moreover
, I could earn more money living here. Big companies are usually located in the big towns.
thus
, a lot of people came to work or do their own businesses. Not only found their firm but
also
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 more customers because most people living in the
city
 are wealthy and could buy or consume what they want. As you can see
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is better to live in a big
city
 than a small
town
according to
 all three reasons stated ; easy access to a place, comfortable travelling, and getting more funds to live.
Submitted by dream.kn6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The introduction does not clearly present the writer's opinion or a clear response to the prompt. The conclusion is abrupt and lacks a summary of the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is somewhat logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is not fully supported with relevant examples and reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: