In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
In the era of globalisation, communities are highly influenced by Western countries' attire
instead
of conventional apparel. However
, In my ,opinion it is a positive development.
People in many states are indulging in western
fashion Capitalize word
Western
due to
various reasons. The first prominent factor is a desire to get an education in respective countries. To be more specific, In Change preposition
for
India
many youths select their dream country to pursue Add a comma
India,
further
education during secondary school. So, they do not only follow select national attire but also
try to adopt their culture and its resident behaviour so that , they can mingle with them easily in order to avoid negligence. For example
, Indian traditional apparel are dhoti-kurta while
in Canadian costume code is totally opposite, If a student goes to Canada to study purpose then
, tends to wear their own cultural costume certainly
, folks Rephrase
apply
shall
hoax him. Verb problem
apply
Consequently
, his/her self-esteem can be hurt. Therefore
, the public who wants to travel to those countries frequently follows their culture so that they will not face barriers once they are there.
On the other hand
,I have a few more points to prove my arguments. The first and foremost factor is to look more fashionable. Undoubtedly, Western uniforms have a pretty look that inspires many societies to try them once. In general, the influence of digital media makes folks allure to more western
attire rather than traditional clothes special for Capitalize word
Western
young
generations. Correct word choice
younger
For instance
, In Asian continents, people give more priority to western
clothes during festivals Capitalize word
Western
such
as birthday parties, and weddings,to look beautiful and as ,
Remove the comma
apply
result
western dresses in some lands are getting more popular day by day. In fact, rich people from non-western lands, dress to show their status in local society.Correct article usage
a result
In other words
, other folks also
imitate them. Hence
, the dominance of western
dresses is more weightful than cultural apparel.
In conclusion, I tend to reiterate that Capitalize word
Western
although
, the public is giving preference western design over traditional dresses yet
I firmly assert that it is a really positive upside to know other country culture. Correct word choice
apply
Last
but not least, When you are in Roam do as Romans do.Submitted by misbahamzahir8 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and you have well explained your points. However, I encourage you to further enhance your ability to clearly link all points. The ideas in paragraphs could benefit from smoother transitions, helping to guide the reader through your points. Remember to properly link your sentences using appropriate discourse markers.
task achievement
You have done a good job in responding to the task and presenting your ideas clearly with some relevant examples. However, not all aspects of the task have been fully covered, as the 'negative' part of the question wasn't fully elaborated. Also, make sure to proofread your essay to avoid leaving sentences unfinished or incomplete ideas.
task achievement
Although there are sufficient examples provided to support your argument, some of them could have been more specific and applicable to the topic to further strengthen your argument.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is quite varied but remember to use words in the right context to avoid confusion. Be careful with your spelling and punctuation as well; they are quite crucial in your overall score.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is good but be careful with your syntax. Also, work on your use of tenses to make sure they are used correctly and consistently throughout your essay.