In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
In the era of globalisation, communities are highly influenced by Western countries' attire
instead
of conventional apparel. Linking Words
However
, In my ,opinion it is a positive development.
People in many states are indulging in Linking Words
western
fashion Capitalize word
Western
Linking Words
due to
various reasons. The first prominent factor is a desire to get an education in respective countries. To be more specific, In Change preposition
for
India
many youths select their dream country to pursue Add a comma
India,
further
education during secondary school. So, they do not only follow select national attire but Linking Words
also
try to adopt their culture and its resident behaviour so that , they can mingle with them easily in order to avoid negligence. Linking Words
For example
, Indian traditional apparel are dhoti-kurta Linking Words
while
in Canadian costume code is totally opposite, If a student goes to Canada to study purpose Linking Words
then
, tends to wear their own cultural costumeLinking Words
certainly
, folks Rephrase
apply
shall
hoax him. Verb problem
apply
Consequently
, his/her self-esteem can be hurt. Linking Words
Therefore
, the public who wants to travel to those countries frequently follows their culture so that they will not face barriers once they are there.
Linking Words
On the other hand
,I have a few more points to prove my arguments. The first and foremost factor is to look more fashionable. Undoubtedly, Western uniforms have a pretty look that inspires many societies to try them once. In general, the influence of digital media makes folks allure to more Linking Words
western
attire rather than traditional clothes special for Capitalize word
Western
young
generations. Correct word choice
younger
For instance
, In Asian continents, people give more priority to Linking Words
western
clothes during festivals Capitalize word
Western
such
as birthday parties, and weddings,to look beautiful and as Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
result
western dresses in some lands are getting more popular day by day. In fact, rich people from non-western lands, dress to show their status in local society.Correct article usage
a result
In other words
, other folks Linking Words
also
imitate them. Linking Words
Hence
, the dominance of Linking Words
western
dresses is more weightful than cultural apparel.
In conclusion, I tend to reiterate that Capitalize word
Western
although
, the public is giving preference western design over traditional dresses Linking Words
yet
I firmly assert that it is a really positive upside to know other country culture. Correct word choice
apply
Last
but not least, When you are in Roam do as Romans do.Linking Words
Submitted by misbahamzahir8 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and you have well explained your points. However, I encourage you to further enhance your ability to clearly link all points. The ideas in paragraphs could benefit from smoother transitions, helping to guide the reader through your points. Remember to properly link your sentences using appropriate discourse markers.
task achievement
You have done a good job in responding to the task and presenting your ideas clearly with some relevant examples. However, not all aspects of the task have been fully covered, as the 'negative' part of the question wasn't fully elaborated. Also, make sure to proofread your essay to avoid leaving sentences unfinished or incomplete ideas.
task achievement
Although there are sufficient examples provided to support your argument, some of them could have been more specific and applicable to the topic to further strengthen your argument.
lexical resource
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grammatical range
Your grammatical range is good but be careful with your syntax. Also, work on your use of tenses to make sure they are used correctly and consistently throughout your essay.