People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Now
people
Use synonyms
used to sleep less than they slept earlier. I think the main reason is
faster
Add an article
the faster
a faster
show examples
rhythm of life. It most of all affects the person himself because of the worse
health
Use synonyms
quality and productivity.
Firstly
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
used to sleep less with each decade because of
faster
Correct article usage
the faster
show examples
life rhythm.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
humanity started to depreciate sleep time.
People
Use synonyms
have to
work
Use synonyms
more in view of the fact that global prices increases. Because of
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
have to get up earlier in order to get to
work
Use synonyms
because every year the level of traffic on the roads only
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
up. Another thing is evening traffic
further
Linking Words
hold
Correct subject-verb agreement
holds
show examples
people
Use synonyms
on the road, so they get home later. Whereas
people
Use synonyms
who have small children have
harder
Add an article
a harder
show examples
time, because
Change preposition
of the
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
need to monitor the baby’s mood. It is
also
Linking Words
a very common trend to
work
Use synonyms
part-time at night, so
people
Use synonyms
have to sleep several hours per day.  The main effect of poor sleep brings pressure on your
health
Use synonyms
, productivity, and mood. The worsts impact is on
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with
health
Use synonyms
problems
people
Use synonyms
visits
Correct subject-verb agreement
visit
show examples
doctors more often, which
also
Linking Words
affects the amount of sleep. The
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
rest at night, the more tired humans become.
As a result
Linking Words
,
humanity
Change noun form
humanity's
show examples
productivity goes down, which leads to slow and hard
work
Use synonyms
. And that's a reason why
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mood drops and worsens. All
this
Linking Words
affects the quality of life,
for example
Linking Words
, there are more and more humans with mental illnesses. The
work
Use synonyms
of a psychologist is becoming more and more in demand every year. In conclusion, I can say that most
people
Use synonyms
do not sleep the right amount of time for their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are increasingly sick.
Submitted by natshar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: