IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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Nowadays, the cost of medical procedures is very expensive, and
Change the spelling
afterwards
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afterward
Add a comma
,afterward
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 it cannot
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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available for many
people
Use synonyms
, because of
this
Linking Words
 each country should have free health services. I mostly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay will tell about all the reasons for my opinion. In the
first
Linking Words
 place, the government of every country should think about citizens from low classes, who do not have any opportunities to pay for any medical treatments. If a person who is poor gets sick, he cannot call a simple ambulance because of his low equity, after which he can infect other
people
Use synonyms
 near him, which actually can start an epidemic.
For instance
Linking Words
, the situation in India,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has most indicators of diseases caused by
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 poor nature. What is more, it is undeniable that most countries have
low
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a low
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 quality
of
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apply
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free healthcare.
People
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 who want to go to free health clinics, cannot take the same treatments that can give a payable medical place, they are forced to go to these centres and take what they can give.
Practical
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A practical
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 example
from
Add a missing verb
is from
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 Kazakhstan’s free polyclinics and hospitals, where clients have to serve after lots of waiting,
also
Linking Words
 the workers may not be respectful to them and may not give the necessary services. In conclusion, countries should give free and high-quality healthcare,
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 must not have any expenses when they are receiving medical treatments. It is because of their opportunities,
reasons
Correct word choice
and reasons
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of
Change preposition
apply
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why they may not take
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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 general.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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