IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
Nowadays, the cost of medical procedures is very expensive, and
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
afterward
Add a comma
,afterward
show examples
 it cannot
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available for many
people
, because of
this
 each country should have free health services. I mostly agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will tell about all the reasons for my opinion. In the
first
 place, the government of every country should think about citizens from low classes, who do not have any opportunities to pay for any medical treatments. If a person who is poor gets sick, he cannot call a simple ambulance because of his low equity, after which he can infect other
people
 near him, which actually can start an epidemic.
For instance
, the situation in India,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has most indicators of diseases caused by
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 poor nature. What is more, it is undeniable that most countries have
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
 quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free healthcare.
People
 who want to go to free health clinics, cannot take the same treatments that can give a payable medical place, they are forced to go to these centres and take what they can give.
Practical
Add an article
A practical
show examples
 example
from
Add a missing verb
is from
show examples
 Kazakhstan’s free polyclinics and hospitals, where clients have to serve after lots of waiting,
also
 the workers may not be respectful to them and may not give the necessary services. In conclusion, countries should give free and high-quality healthcare,
also
people
 must not have any expenses when they are receiving medical treatments. It is because of their opportunities,
reasons
Correct word choice
and reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why they may not take
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 general.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: