IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Many country encourage tourism. Does it bring advantages or disadvantages?

#country #tourism
The diagram presents information about the
process
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
milk
 production
by
Change preposition
in
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 several steps. Overall, the
process
 starts
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 cows grazing and finishes
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 appearing
milk
 in the market. The
process
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
milk
 production starts
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 cow grazing.
This
process
 is really important
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it has an impact on the quality of the
milk
,
then
 the cows are milked by a milking machine twice a day.
Third
Change the article
The third
show examples
 step is storing
this
milk
 in refrigeration storage, where
milk
 is becoming cold and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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increases
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 shelf life of the
milk
.
Fourth
Change the article
The fourth
show examples
 step is delivering
milk
 by tanks to the factory, where all types of dairy are produced. One part of
milk
 is pasteurized and packaged, another is used in
production
Add an article
the production
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 of dairy products
such
 as cheese, cream and butter. And
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 all
this
 dairy stuff appears on the market.
Submitted by dominikskorbus on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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