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Band 6.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping

#growth #shops #cities
Nowadays , with improvements in technology ,
people
 prefer doing online shopping
instead
 of going to
stores
.
However
 , though the fast progress of changes it might be difficult to discuss the future I think online shopping may not replace shops totally .
To begin
 with , I would like to discuss the advantages of online shopping. In the past
people
 had to spend a lot of time shopping
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance,
people
 in the village who did not have access to
stores
 had to come to the town for their basic needs and it took them time but currently , you can buy everything you need without geographical restrictions.
Moreover
, in the past with the limited number of
stores
people
 did not have a lot of options to choose
thus
 they sometimes bought something they did not hear anything about its brand before but these days
people
 can do their shopping at their pleasure and it becomes achievable for them by online shopping
for instance
 , even though
people
 do not have access to well-known brand's clothes in our country but they may order their clothes from other countries online .
On the other hand
 , it may not a good idea that closes all the
stores
 because it would be hard for elder
people
 to do online shopping . In another word, it is not unfair for elder
people
 who do not good knowledge of computers and the internet and
also
 they have lived in
this
 way and it would be really hard for them to adapt to new things.
Furthermore
, it may be difficult to buy something online
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example , women are likely to buy cosmetics in
stores
 because they have a chance to taste them before buying them and
also
 it may be challenging to buy shoes without a try-on and checking the size. In conclusion ,
people
 's life is becoming easier with online shopping but it may be unfair to replace them with
stores
 totally and in my opinion , it may not happen in the near future.
Submitted by Nedjoo on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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