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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping

#growth #shops #cities
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Nowadays , with improvements in technology ,
people
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 prefer doing online shopping
instead
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 of going to
stores
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.
However
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 , though the fast progress of changes it might be difficult to discuss the future I think online shopping may not replace shops totally .
To begin
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 with , I would like to discuss the advantages of online shopping. In the past
people
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 had to spend a lot of time shopping
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for
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,for
show examples
 instance,
people
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 in the village who did not have access to
stores
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 had to come to the town for their basic needs and it took them time but currently , you can buy everything you need without geographical restrictions.
Moreover
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, in the past with the limited number of
stores
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people
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 did not have a lot of options to choose
thus
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 they sometimes bought something they did not hear anything about its brand before but these days
people
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 can do their shopping at their pleasure and it becomes achievable for them by online shopping
for instance
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 , even though
people
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 do not have access to well-known brand's clothes in our country but they may order their clothes from other countries online .
On the other hand
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 , it may not a good idea that closes all the
stores
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 because it would be hard for elder
people
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 to do online shopping . In another word, it is not unfair for elder
people
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 who do not good knowledge of computers and the internet and
also
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 they have lived in
this
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 way and it would be really hard for them to adapt to new things.
Furthermore
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, it may be difficult to buy something online
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example , women are likely to buy cosmetics in
stores
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 because they have a chance to taste them before buying them and
also
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 it may be challenging to buy shoes without a try-on and checking the size. In conclusion ,
people
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 's life is becoming easier with online shopping but it may be unfair to replace them with
stores
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 totally and in my opinion , it may not happen in the near future.
Submitted by Nedjoo on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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