Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Nowadays, the number of elderly clients is rising, as the health and social

care

facilities improved their services and become more specialised in geriatric medicine. I believe that the community can deal with

this

major problem if they set various management plans.

Firstly

, society should deal with

this

issue and find a root solution for it. If they increased the number of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health centres and hospitals in the city, the management of the elderly will be better and more efficient.

Therefore

, the nation will be able to cope with the huge percentage of aged people.

Moreover

, home

care

medic demand should be increased, since those nurses can treat geriatric patients in the proper way.

For example

, for bedridden patients, the home therapist used to change their position frequently to prevent bed sores.

Furthermore

, they are playing an enormous role in giving patients baths and helping them to have food.

Similarly

, providing physiotherapy treatment will help in facilitating elderly movement . As the result , dealing with aged people will be effective. To conclude, I think that society cannot treat all elderly unless they set a management plan to rise the number of hospitals and geriatric

care

centres, in order to receive all old people there and provide the necessary treatment . As well as, they should offer home

care

nurses as much as they can for

this

purpose along with physiotherapy treatment .

Submitted by zainabalabed on Thu Dec 08 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?