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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Task 2 Academic Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
Each city,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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big or small, have good and bad aspects about it.
People
's mental and physical
health
 can be directly impacted by some of these aspects. With that being said, it is difficult to assume that the fact someone
lives
 in a
metropoly
Correct your spelling
metropolis
metropole
 it is
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 bad for their
health
. The
life-expectancy
Correct your spelling
life expectancy
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 of several big
cities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 higher than the ones in smaller
cities
. That depends, of course, on how each person
lives
 their
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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. But, in big
cities
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access to
health
Add an article
the health
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 system
are
Change the verb form
is
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 way easier than in some remote places, so
people
 tend to go to the doctor more often, helping them catch and treat diseases they might discover. Added to that, some
people
 really need to constantly meet and be around other
people
, meeting new places,
such
 as different bars, restaurants,
museums
Correct word choice
and museums
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 and living in a place that does not have
these variety
Change the determiner
this variety
these varieties
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 of options can be very monotonous, affecting their emotional state and
devoloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 some mental
health
 issues. Citizens from smaller
cities
, though, are less exposed to stressful situations and circumstances,
such
 as traffic, crowded spaces, loud noises from sirens, construction sites, concerts and
airplane
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airplanes
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.
Also
, is
also
 more common to have
acess
Correct your spelling
access
 to nature, which several studies
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
have shown
showed
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that
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apply
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can be very
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 for
humans
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humans'
human's
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 mental
health
. In both situations, there are harm and benefits, but I believe that it is not possible to guarantee that any of the two can be considered to be the worst for
people
 in general, it depends a lot on each individual personal
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
.
Submitted by julia_mrp9 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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