Nowadays, sport is becoming a business and more and more professionals and big companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think it is a positive development or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
these days, the trend
that is
really common is that different companies across the world invest a great deal of money in
sports
events and sport is transformed into businesses. In my opinion, it is a positive development owing to the fact that the level of global
sports
events improves and creates a number of job opportunities. On the one hand, the main factors that help the sportsmen to develop their skills are the equipment, coaches and money ;
as a result
, when the companies become
sports
team sponsors, they can obtain professional coaches;
furthermore
, they buy new facilities and update them and encourage the athletes to focus on their
sports
instead
of think about their income and work in other careers; in fact, they make the chance that the
sports
of countries enhance and the level of international competitions increase.
On the other hand
, a majority of occupations generate in diverse sections
such
as the firms which support a
sports
team advertising their brand and goods;
thereafter
, spectators watch them and are encouraged to buy their products the same as the athletes that they admire;
consequently
, businesses sales climb and they need a lot of employees for their firms' development.
In addition
, job vacancies in commercial industries have risen. Tos um up, in my view,
this
trend has benefits for both
sports
and international inhabitants on account of the fact that the athletes can become better in their fields by the high level of all items that they require;
moreover
,a lot of people are able to find the jobs in several sections.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement in your writing.
task response
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and better illustrate your points.
task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, enhancing clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Clear introduction that outlines the main points of the essay.
logical structure
Logical flow of ideas that generally maintains reader engagement.
introduction conclusion present
Strong conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively and reinforces your thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • commercialisation
  • sponsorship
  • professional athletes
  • media coverage
  • broadcasting rights
  • global audience
  • sporting event
  • financial support
  • sportsmanship
  • fair play
  • integrity
  • ethical practices
  • doping
  • match-fixing
  • profits over passion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: