IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

#students #year #university #gap #idea
More and more students have a gap
year
 between high school and
university
. Some
people
 think that there are some drawbacks to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a
year
 off, but some think that young
people
 can gain more
benefits
 for their future,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 I definitely agree about
this
 view. Some
people
 think that there are lots of drawbacks to a have a
year
 off before going to
university
.
Firstly
, the students taking a
year
 off
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need financial support from their family,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 they need to work for their living that
year
.
For example
, the job they work may not they are really
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
, and it wastes their time.
Secondly
, they have one
year
 behind
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their classmates,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will lead
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have no common language with their classmates.
Finally
, not
every
Correct quantifier usage
all
show examples
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 understand the student’s decision to a
year
 off which will make them have not a good relationship with their family, especially in
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. But some
people
 think that young
people
 can get more
benefits
 from taking a
year
 off before they choose a field to study at
university
.
Firstly
, they can have more time to find the field they
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
interest
Add a missing verb
are interest
show examples
as
Change preposition
in as
show examples
 their subject to study at
university
.
Secondly
, students have more chances to try different kinds of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 that will help them gain different
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
For example
, even
you
Correct word choice
if you
show examples
 just work
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a sales
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job, you can learn communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to talk with different
people
 which is a
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 skill for your whole life.
Finally
, young
people
 can
boarden
Correct your spelling
broaden
 their network from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real sociality not just from school. In conclusion, there are drawbacks and
benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking a gap
year
, but I think young
people
 can gain more
benefits
 from taking a
year
 off before going to
university
.
Submitted by wongsuun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: