Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

#students #year #university #gap #idea

More and more students have a gap

year

between high school and

university

. Some

people

think that there are some drawbacks to

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

year

off, but some think that young

people

can gain more

benefits

for their future,

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

I definitely agree about

this

view. Some

people

think that there are lots of drawbacks to a have a

year

off before going to

university

Firstly

, the students taking a

year

off

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

need financial support from their family,

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

they need to work for their living that

year

For example

, the job they work may not they are really

interested

Replace the word

interesting

show examples

, and it wastes their time.

Secondly

, they have one

year

behind

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their classmates,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will lead

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they have no common language with their classmates.

Finally

, not

every

Correct quantifier usage

all

show examples

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

understand the student’s decision to a

year

off which will make them have not a good relationship with their family, especially in

poor

Add an article

a poor

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

. But some

people

think that young

people

can get more

benefits

from taking a

year

off before they choose a field to study at

university

Firstly

, they can have more time to find the field they

really

Add a missing verb

are really

show examples

interest

Add a missing verb

are interest

show examples

Change preposition

in as

show examples

their subject to study at

university

Secondly

, students have more chances to try different kinds of

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

that will help them gain different

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

For example

, even

you

Correct word choice

if you

show examples

just work

Change preposition

show examples

a sales

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job, you can learn communication

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

to talk with different

people

which is a

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

skill for your whole life.

Finally

, young

people

can

boarden

Correct your spelling

broaden

their network from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real sociality not just from school. In conclusion, there are drawbacks and

benefits

Change preposition

show examples

taking a gap

year

, but I think young

people

can gain more

benefits

from taking a

year

off before going to

university

Submitted by wongsuun on Fri Dec 09 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For some people learning in a group is the most effective way, while others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both views. What is your opinion?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sport or doing execercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn cnews. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Many people today find that the cost of attaining a University-level education is extremely high for the students and their families. What are the causes of this situation, and how can governments, Universities and the students themselves overcome the problem?