IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

children nowadays spend great deal of time watching television.However television cannot replace as learning tool which is why children are less educated today.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is irrefutable that today infants are wasting their time watching television rather than reading a book which is a huge source of knowledge,
therefore
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 adolescents are not more knowledgeable these days. I completely agree with
this
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 notion, because entertaining programs are spoiling the mindset of young ones and damaging their future.
To begin
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 with, books provide a lot of information, while series like acting, singing, and dancing is making kids less productive and dull.
On the other hand
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, reading opens so many doors of literacy for children,
for instance
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, science, history and literature help them to learn about different kinds of positive approaches which television cannot do.
Besides
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, various types of journals are
also
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 available that enhance the learning abilities of minors. Moving
further
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, there are multifarious dramas telecasted on television and they are showing fake characters, horror actions and untrue stories which are making unreal thoughts in the mind of young ones.
For example
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, if a child watches a superhero show on a daily basis, he will imagine himself as a hero and will fail to work and study in school. To recapitulate, because of the aforementioned reasons, we may safely conclude that nowadays our drama industry is spoiling the minds of children and keeping them away from learning skills.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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