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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Older generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thoughts and behavior. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#generation #life #thoughts #behavior #people #generations
Currently, the older
generation
 tends to share ideas, lifestyles and behaviour of their
time
. It is believed that their suggestions will not be as useful as it was for them. I intend to agree, and
this
 essay will explain. On the one hand, older people want to help and share the knowledge they have gained
as a result
 of their failures. After all, they lived at a
time
 when people spent more
time
 live than online at a
time
 when their day was mostly spent outdoors, in the fresh air. They lived at a
time
 when people ate, lived without deception and without any gadgets, which made their
life
 simple and a lot of
time
 for philosophizing, because it's not for nothing that we read writers who wrote their poems in the 17th or 18th centuries. It's a good idea to listen to them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they have a lot of experience in
life
.
On the other hand
, their
advice
 may not always help, because with each new
generation
 a new way of
life
, new problems and
innovations
Correct word choice
new innovations
show examples
. Because of
this
 reason , their
advice
 may not always be useful .
For example
,
instead
 of going to pay taxes or to get any documents, it is not necessary to go to
this
 place because you can just download on the Internet what they don't know about. But still, the fact that they cannot understand new gadgets and do not understand innovations still they have a lot of experience in
life
 and maybe the current
generation
 will not make the mistakes that they have sinned. Summing up, the older
generation
 tries to take care of us by giving
advice
 that they would like to hear from someone in due
time
. So the statement that their
advice
 is not useful and they will not be useful at the present
time
 is not true.
Submitted by yokubjon_nurullaev on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs to have a clearer structure and organization. Ensure that there is a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make use of paragraphing to structure main points and supporting details.
task achievement
The arguments need to directly address the question prompt and provide a balanced view of both sides of the argument. Ensure that the response fully addresses all aspects of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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