It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Some
people
argue that it is beneficial to be adventurous both in professional lives
and personal lives
, while others hold an
opposite opinion. Correct article usage
the
Personally
I believe that taking Add a comma
,Personally
risks
can bring more advantages than disadvantages.
The majority of people
tend to lead a stable and even changeless life,
and cautiously plan every step throughout their whole life in case there is a risk. But some Remove the comma
apply
people
prefer to make bold decisions in their study
and career, which sometimes turns out to be a great success. Fix the agreement mistake
studies
For example
, students would choose to get out of their comfort zone and study in a totally strange country where there is language
barrier as well as inconvenience, or some Add an article
a language
people
change their career path to another field or give up a stable position and start their own business. These people
are likely to experience a tough time but they would finally
harvest a different view after that. Some people
enjoy adventurous activities such
as sailing and rock climbing because these activities can bring pleasure which is far more exciting than other ordinary sports.
However
, like many other things in the world, taking risks
has drawbacks as well. It is true that some bold people
who take risks
may suffer from a great loss in their professional lives
and personal lives
. Considering the example of those investors in real estate, many people
crave for making fast money and put a large sum of money in
purchasing houses as a way of investment, but they probably lose their hard-earned money when the industry is in recession. Change preposition
into
Moreover
, for
those who are keen on all sorts of risky activities, they are more likely to get injured or even face serious health Change preposition
apply
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
if
without proper protection and preparation.
In conclusion, I would not deny the drawbacks or even dangers brought about by the Correct word choice
apply
risks
taken, but as long as we make full preparation and do considerable investigation beforehand, it is worth trying. Therefore
, to some extent
I believe that it is crucial for Add a comma
,extent
people
to take risks
to achieve breakthroughs in their professional lives
and personal lives
.Submitted by 598528510 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite