n some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
20th
Change the article
the 20th
show examples
century, the USA
implentented
Correct your spelling
implemented
a law in which the youths are not permitted to go out without being accompanied by an adult. I
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and in the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will explain my reasons. The most important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
my
agreemenet
Correct your spelling
agreement
towards
this
Linking Words
regulation is the impossibility of the youth, who are immature and do not distinguish between goodness and evilness,being involved in gangs. It is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
misbehaved and undisciplined teenagers prefer the late
hours
Change to a genitive case
hour's
hours'
show examples
gatherings rather than during the day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because their misbehaviour can not be seen by the neighbours;
therefore
Linking Words
they can do offences freely.
moreover
Linking Words
, spending the night out, while their parents are sleeping may cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
involvement in petty crimes as well as drugs.
this
Linking Words
is because they are not supervised by an adult, which can temper their bad
ideeas
Correct your spelling
ideas
.
for instance
Linking Words
, in
romania
Change the capitalization
Romania
show examples
, most teens prefer sleeping and skipping lessons during the day so the rate of dropping out of school in dramatically increasing.
In addition
Linking Words
,lack of proper sleep can cause
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
mental health problems,
such
Linking Words
as nervous breakdowns, depression and
impossibilty
Correct your spelling
impossibility
of concentration. It
is well know
Change the verb form
is well known
show examples
that teenagers,who are in
growth
Add an article
the growth
a growth
show examples
period,need at least 7 hours of sleep for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
holitic
Correct your spelling
holistic
political
development.If it is not respected, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and the individual will suffer in the future. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters being
monitozised
Correct your spelling
monitored
by their parents or relatives may deter their curiosity, which may harm them, because
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
show examples
teenagers prefer walking an untrodden path.
Submitted by dr.lurabraga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: