Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern facilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings #facilities

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In the recent modern world, some people seriously believe that it is better for society to destroy aged

buidings

Correct your spelling

buildings

and construct new premises. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea as I believe the traditional constructions and historical

houses

Use synonyms

are an important part of human heritage.

In addition

Linking Words

, refurbishing

architectures

Fix the agreement mistake

architecture

show examples

and continue using them is better for the environment. The

first

Linking Words

reason I am

agaist

Correct your spelling

against

destorying

Correct your spelling

destroying

all the old buildings is

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

damage to human heritage. The traditional

architetures

Correct your spelling

architectures

architecture

are important parts of society's history and we can learn many things from them.

For example

Linking Words

, the devastating news of

Nortre

Correct your spelling

Notre

Dame Cathedral being burnt down shocked people all over the world for the significant loss of human history. Even much smaller cases would, in total, become critical damages to protect our continuing culture. From

this

Linking Words

view, I am

aginst

Correct your spelling

against

show examples

the destruction of traditional buildings. The

second

Linking Words

reason I disagree

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

statement is from an environmental point of view. On

this

Linking Words

account, unfortunately,

Japanese

Correct article usage

the Japanese

show examples

are infamous for our strong

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

purchasing new

houses

Use synonyms

intead

Correct your spelling

instead

second

Linking Words

-hand residences.

As a result

Linking Words

, in Japan,

often times

Correct your spelling

oftentimes

show examples

good old

houses

Use synonyms

are

destoryed

Correct your spelling

destroyed

, trees are cut down and new

houses

Use synonyms

are built from scratch.

This

Linking Words

process is quite harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

the environment. If the nation can shift its focus to the conservation of traditional structures rather than wanting to have brand new ones, the waste from the destroyed

houses

Use synonyms

would be reduced and trees can survive. From

this

Linking Words

point of view again, I

am strongly oppose

Change the verb form

am strongly opposed

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the statement. In conclusion, protecting old

houses

Use synonyms

and passing on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional buildings to

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

generation

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

plenty of advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

it means to protect human heritage and

Linking Words

secondly

Add a comma

,secondly

show examples

the action is environmentally friendly.

Submitted by michima2011 on Fri Dec 09 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern facilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?

More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol and as a result, breaking the law. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

The modern life is harmful for people asit bring a lot of preasure and reduce the quality of relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

living in big cities is associated with many problems, what are these problems and how can they be tackled?

Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.