IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

*Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#*nowadays #people #work #company #organisation #*why #be #case #*what
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In the recent modern world, the number of young
people
Use synonyms
 who choose to start their own businesses has been rapidly increasing. There are a couple of important reasons for
this
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 phenomenon,
such
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 as the advent of the internet and subsequent
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
 structure changes.
However
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, there are some critical drawbacks of self-employment. I would like to list them in
this
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 essay. The most significant reason for the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
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 trend is the introduction of the internet and the
digitizaiton
Correct your spelling
digitisation
 of society. Owning to the
availabity
Correct your spelling
availability
 of digital
insfrastructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 at a reasonable cost, even new graduates from universities without much investment money can relatively easily start their own
business
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.
For example
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, a small
venture
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 company can compete with
national
Add an article
a national
the national
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 brand if
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 products had a significant competitive edge in the digital market environment. The
second
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 reason is the volatility of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as a whole.
For instance
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, under the huge influence of the recent pandemic and the war, the market is becoming more and more unstable and many young
people
Use synonyms
 are struggling to find good careers at large organizations. Some of these
people
Use synonyms
 have decided to start their own
buisnesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
instead
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 of depending on established companies. These are a few most prominent reasons.
However
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, becoming
self-employers
Correct article usage
a self-employers
show examples
 has its critical risks.
First
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 of all, only a small percentage of
venture
Use synonyms
 businesses
survives
Correct subject-verb agreement
survive
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 more than three years. Once failed, the
owners
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 of the
business
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 not only
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 income but owe a significant amount of investment borrowed from banks and stakeholders.
Moreover
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, even if the
business
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 continued, small
venture
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captal
Correct your spelling
capital
owners
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 are constantly under the pressure to continuously grow
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business
Correct article usage
the business
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.
For instance
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, in Japan, 95% of corporations are categorized as small
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 and their
owners
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 tend to work seven days a week, under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge pressure and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is not good for their health. In conclusion, due to the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
societal
Replace the word
social
show examples
 structure changes, the number of
self-emplyeed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
people
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 continuously increasing.
On the other hand
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
venture
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business
Use synonyms
 is a rarity and a majority of
venture
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 company
owners
Use synonyms
 are facing significant risks and pressures.
Submitted by michima2011 on

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