IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those crimes?

#countries #amount #crime #crimes
Now, In
this
 global era, It seems to be really true that in plenty of nations, the amount of
crime
 has drastically improved a lot because most of the
crimes
 are committed by unemployees. In
this
 manuscript, I would elucidate why more cases are increasing and what are the possible solutions to face those
crimes
. To commence with, In
this
 current generation, showing people has pragmatically adapted lifestyles which are really affecting unprivileged people because the umpteen of youngsters are fundamentally struggling with multiple things
such
 as lack of jobs, accommodation and food.
That is
 the reason most
crimes
 have happened to youngsters.
For instance
, gadgets are influenced by children which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 really harmful to them because they could have learned advantaged technologies by using mobile phones and
also
 watching
crime
 series how are doing
such
 as smuggling, hacking, pickpocketing, drugs etc.
On the other hand
,
Firstly
, the government should implement strict protocols for prisons which is ethical for people because the advocates are taken out effortlessly with high penalties.
Nevertheless
, they are committing a
crime
 again after being released from prison.
Secondly
, the main authority should provide good special training skills for prisoners which is helpful for their jobs.
Thirdly
, the government should clear all the black marks after releasing the prisoners.
Therefore
, there are possible things to deal with a
crime
. Understandably, many of the points above have stated that in my opinion, In many developed nations, the government could have given equal rights to each and every one. It is true that they have strict rules.So, there have been no
crimes
 mostly.
Submitted by zulaihaajmal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: