IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It's important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Taking
ventures
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
 between professional areas and personal
lives
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, the merits of taking
risks
Use synonyms
 outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 can improve creativity at work or study. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 who are willing to take
ventures
Use synonyms
 in their project no matter in research or business are able to achieve aspiration from these
risks
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, scientists sometimes would do some dangerous things and
then
Linking Words
 could obtain surprise results to develop the progress of science.
In addition
Linking Words
, taking
risks
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 bring a variety of advantages including promotions or money. In terms of personal
lives
Use synonyms
, taking
ventures
Use synonyms
 could encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to leave their boring
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, couples make a fresh sense to help them to avoid tiring for each other. In fact, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is one of the instincts in
people
Use synonyms
’s
lives
Use synonyms
 that are more likely to boost both human mental and physical advance, even the whole society can become more flourish.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are different disadvantages to taking
ventures
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 who like adventures might lose everything and even their
life
Use synonyms
. In daily
life
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 order to pursue
risks
Use synonyms
participate
Correct word choice
and participate
show examples
 in extreme sports that would get injuries or
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their
lives
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 most
people
Use synonyms
 under great pressure and
then
Linking Words
 their mental health can be in danger. In conclusion, while some shortcomings demonstrate taking
risks
Use synonyms
, the positive influences of taking
ventures
Use synonyms
 outweigh the negative impacts.
People
Use synonyms
 should properly pursue
risks
Use synonyms
 in both their professional
lives
Use synonyms
 and personal
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by litahlia0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: