IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas other like working for companies or institution. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches which do you think is a better approach.

#people #companies #institution #approaches #approach
There are two opposite ideas about whether
people
 prefer to
work
 for themselves or
work
 for companies or institutions.
Although
 there is good and bad in everything, in my point of view self-employment advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. On the
one
 hand, some
people
 can not think about a job
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 which is done for a company. Because being
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 and running a business is not something that everyone can do
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Since a lot of
people
 do not have
this
 ability to run their business
then
 they decide to
work
 for a company because
that is
 what they are best at and gives them positive feelings.
However
, long hours of
work
 and taking orders can be boring and unpleasant to some
people
 working in countries and it could lead to their quitting
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
, which is
one
 of the negative sides of working for a company.
On the other hand
, another idea is that it is better for
people
 to be self-employed. It is
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 better for
indivuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who need to have flexible hours because when you are self-employed, it is like you are the boss of yourself and you can do your job whenever you want.
For instance
, I have an experience
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working as
self-employed
Correct article usage
a self-employed
show examples
 and those were the most remarkable days of my life because I could
work
 more efficiently at late
nights
Fix the agreement mistake
night
show examples
 and there was no
one
 who could order me when to
work
.
Although
one
 of
disadvantages
Add an article
the disadvantages
show examples
 that I can mention is that you become responsible for almost every aspect of your job when you are self-employed and there
ia
Correct your spelling
is
 a huge amount of
workloads
Fix the agreement mistake
workload
show examples
 that need to be done which gives
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
huge stress
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a person who is working for himself. In conclusion, it is really hard to say if it is better to be self-employed or to
work
 for a country.
This
 is a choice that should be made by any individual according to their personality, habits and mood. But generally, it seems that working for each self is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferable since every individual is free to
chose
Change the verb
choose
show examples
 his or her working time.
Submitted by sarafeiz78 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Flexibility
  • Pursue
  • Fluctuate
  • Entrepreneurial
  • Hierarchical
  • Monotonous
  • Collaborative
  • Structured environments
  • Career progression
  • Professional growth
  • Job satisfaction
  • Financial risks
  • Self-discipline
  • Time management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: