IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The news media have to much influence on people's lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#news #media #influence #people #lives #development
Nowadays, new
media
 has many effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Add an article
the daily
show examples
 life of people and development will be
Correct quantifier usage
more difficulty
show examples
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same. I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
 disagree that social
media
 will leads to negative development In the following paragraphs, the reason to support my disagreement will be discussed in detail.
This
media
 is a
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 which you can get
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from yourself and have
variety
Replace the word
various
show examples
sources
Change preposition
of sources
show examples
 to reach in
this
.
For instance
, if you want to know something, you can
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 everything from the internet.
Moreover
, It will make a good result to develop for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 because more people can adapt to solve some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in daily life.
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
 it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 to research
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
.
However
, It has
a negative effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative effect
negative effects
show examples
.
Sometime
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
 It will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 some people to get a bad thing that you can't remind it.
For example
, the
media
 might be over rate so that it can
becomes
Change the verb form
become
show examples
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
media
 when you
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
.
Moreover
, in daily life is
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more crime or corruption from
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
.
For example
, when you buy some
facibilty
Correct your spelling
facility
 or anything
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 advertisement in
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
, you will receive
Add an article
a
the
show examples
product
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bad quality. In conclusion, I personally disagree with
this
 viewpoint because it seems to me that the disadvantage
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
 the advantage.
Finally
,
Media
 will make many benefits when you know a good way to concern it and you can receive chances to do something that you never try it before.
Submitted by Plengpnww on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: