The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
trying to decrease their overwhelm and sadness through things which make them more joyful and happy about life
such
as
music
.
This
essay will discuss why I agree that
music
can assist to reduce
stress
most of the time.
However
, I
also
believe that having a conservation with someone who loves you can help to reduce
stress
.
People
use different methods to change their minds to be less overwhelmed and comfortable in their life.
Firstly
, emotional
people
love to hear
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
because they think it is the key to reducing their
stress
and forgetting what is going on. 
In addition
, kinds of
music
are very realistic and have the same words that can describe
people
's life. One clear example is, there are happy
music
and sad
music
so every person chooses to hear what he likes.
However
, talking to
people
can
also
be a good idea to have a person who will understand your situation.
For instance
, girls are less stressed the boys because they are having conservations with their friends which can decrease their
stress
rate and
as a result
is effective.
Moreover
, in every healthcare , centre there is a therapy doctor to listen, solve and reduce
stress
from the
people
. In conclusion,
music
and talking to
people
are effective methods to solve
stress
. So, I believe there are many solutions but should the person choose what he loves to have a faster solution
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Submitted by 37sulaiman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: