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Band 4

A company is going to give some money either to support the art or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose

#company #money #support #art #environment
In my view , nowadays, attention to
art
 is increasing day by day .
Art
 is expanding and raising
type
Add an article
the type
show examples
 of
this
art
 . Can
also
 , many bosses of the companies and
other leader
Change the wording
another leader
other leaders
show examples
 in offer alternative plans and news but
l
 did not offer
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I assume ,
lf
Correct your spelling
if
 we would pay attention
our
Change preposition
to our
show examples
environment
 and
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and be
carefully
Replace the adverb
careful
show examples
. If someone going to give some money to me or other
people
 . I am going to
change
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and grow flowers and plants . I assume
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is need and
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 for us than
art
 . Even so ,
art
 subjects need to us and some
people
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
Change preposition
in it
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
. We
change
 duty and we always protect and save our
environment
 because we are living now on the ground . Can
also
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
 our president is giving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us new
change
 . Even so
Add a comma
,
show examples
we
Add a missing verb
are capable
show examples
capable
Add a missing verb
are capable
show examples
 solve our
environment
. If
l
 have much money .
Firstly
 ,
l
gone
Add the auxiliary verb
went
has gone
show examples
 some for orphans
then
l
 finished my work and plans . We should destroy harmful companies for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. Nowadays weather and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 are decreasing
are
Correct word choice
and are
show examples
 polluting because many
people
 have trash and they do not know what do you do . The best
change
 is
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. We can always find
art
 and we
capable
Add a missing verb
are capable
show examples
 learn in terms of
art
 .But we lost
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
then
 we
newer
Correct your spelling
never
show examples
 find it so we appreciate and protect our
environment
 . If
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is palatable , all plants will be acceptable and all
people
 will live very claim
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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