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Band 3.5

IN SOME COUNTRIES, YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGED TO WORK OR TRAVEL FOR A YEAR BETWEEN HIGHSCHOOL AND STARTING UNIVERSITY STUDIES. DISCUSS THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE WHO DECIDE TO DO THIS.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #highschool #university #studies
It is believed that
students
 who graduate from high school are promoted to find jobs or travel a year before university.Whether they decide to do that brings their benefit or not. In my opinion, looking for a job or exploring somewhere a year after graduating from high school is the right choice. There are many reasons to support
this
 great decision.
First
 of all, young people will understand valuables while their parents work hard to make a living.
Moreover
,during
working
Add a comma
,working
show examples
 they earn a lot of experience to solve the problem of their life in the future.
For instance
, they can learn many skills about managing staff or improving social networks .
Second
 of all, they could easily get an orientation for their major when they study at university. According to a recent survey,
students
 who worked or travelled before studying at university have a higher career success than did not. I believe there are pros and cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 decision.
Students
 could be dependent on money and
neglecting
Wrong verb form
neglect
show examples
 their studies. In inclusion,
students
 should be aware that studying is more important than working or travelling
Submitted by timmotgiay02 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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