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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

IN SOME COUNTRIES, YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGED TO WORK OR TRAVEL FOR A YEAR BETWEEN HIGHSCHOOL AND STARTING UNIVERSITY STUDIES. DISCUSS THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE WHO DECIDE TO DO THIS.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #highschool #university #studies
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It is believed that
students
Use synonyms
 who graduate from high school are promoted to find jobs or travel a year before university.Whether they decide to do that brings their benefit or not. In my opinion, looking for a job or exploring somewhere a year after graduating from high school is the right choice. There are many reasons to support
this
Linking Words
 great decision.
First
Linking Words
 of all, young people will understand valuables while their parents work hard to make a living.
Moreover
Linking Words
,during
working
Add a comma
,working
show examples
 they earn a lot of experience to solve the problem of their life in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can learn many skills about managing staff or improving social networks .
Second
Linking Words
 of all, they could easily get an orientation for their major when they study at university. According to a recent survey,
students
Use synonyms
 who worked or travelled before studying at university have a higher career success than did not. I believe there are pros and cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 decision.
Students
Use synonyms
 could be dependent on money and
neglecting
Wrong verb form
neglect
show examples
 their studies. In inclusion,
students
Use synonyms
 should be aware that studying is more important than working or travelling
Submitted by timmotgiay02 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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