Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, most individuals do not take their health seriously. They often consume products which have high levels of sugar without understanding the bad impact it can
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
. I completely agree with the idea that the prices of these products should be increased in order to prevent folks from buying them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people should be aware of the fact that consuming sugary things can have a major impact on their bodies. Since these items contain a great number of carbohydrates, eating these on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis can cause severe illnesses like blood pressure, heart attack and diabetes at a young age.
For instance
Linking Words
, most hospitals report that people who eat food containing high amounts of carbohydrates frequently are diagnosed with diabetes at an
early
Fix the agreement mistake
earlier
show examples
age than usual.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by increasing the price of these goods, the adverse effect of sugary items on a person's health can be minimized.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the increase in the number of goods would compel one to change their habits. In most cases, when a person is not able to afford an item he is addicted to, he either looks for alternatives or changes his habit.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past, it has been witnessed that increasing the cost of tobacco prevented folks from purchasing it.
As a result
Linking Words
, a drastic downfall in the consumption of tobacco was seen and most individuals even quit smoking even though they were addicted. To put it in a nutshell, it is true that extremely sweet products
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
negative effects on human organs.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it is a good way to increase the prices of these items so the health of the people will not deteriorate.
Submitted by taimoornadeem1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a clear main point and that ideas are linked logically throughout the essay. Consider using more varied transitional devices to improve coherence.
task achievement
Maintain a clear focus on the task question and ensure that each idea directly addresses the topic. Provide specific examples that are directly relevant to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: