Nowadays, Obesity is more common in all countries in the world, especially among children. This will lead to more health problems when they grow older. This essay will provide the causes of this problem and solutions.
In
this
21st century
people Add a comma
,century
does
not care about Change the verb form
do
there
Correct your spelling
their
health
, everyone
is in rat
race to earn money. Add an article
the rat
a rat
Hence
the basic structure of the human body is getting affected by various reasons in this
fast life
. Main
causes for young kids and children Correct article usage
The main
everyone
is dependent on technology and more addicted Add a missing verb
are everyone
with
mobile phones, carrying the phone with unusual seating or sleeping posture, it directly harms Change preposition
to
on
their physic, mainly they will face Change preposition
apply
health
problem
when they become Fix the agreement mistake
problems
an
old person Correct article usage
apply
also
the unwanted use of the mobile phones and having a junk food
style at anytime
. it getting the new generation in Replace the word
any time
big
problem of obesity.
Add an article
a big
Firstly
, the key pillars
of the family Fix the agreement mistake
pillar
is
Change the verb form
are
parents
they are the Correct article usage
the parents
one
who can guide Correct pronoun usage
ones
to
their children in every path of Change preposition
apply
life
. so the
Correct article usage
apply
parents
are now days
producing the problem later after searching for Correct your spelling
nowadays
an solutions
for their kids, Correct the article-noun agreement
a solution
solutions
for
example
some of those Add the comma(s)
,example
parents
working hard to secure their family
future by saving and earning enough money. Today's Change noun form
family's
life
we called as
fast Correct your spelling
a
food
life
, at some
Correct your spelling
sometimes
time
no one cooks the
fresh Correct article usage
apply
food
at home instead
of that they order the food
from outside
Add an article
the outside
hotel
, it would be Correct article usage
a hotel
an
big cause Change the article
a
to
increasing lot of Change preposition
of
health
problems. seems how you start your day in early
morning to get ready and Add an article
the early
this
is also
very much important, how much we do the
exercise in a week or what requires our body Correct article usage
apply
likewise
the diet food
, less oil and so on. if everyone
can adopt the
healthy lifestyle it can be possible to reduce Correct article usage
a
lot
of issues.
Change the article
a lot
Also
during the pandanamics
Correct your spelling
pandemics
period
Add a comma
,period
everyone
was adobpting
Correct your spelling
adopting
the
healthier Correct article usage
a
life
but again after some extend
it has been ending up, Replace the word
extent
every one
Replace the word
everyone
getting
back to their normal routine by giving the excuses of no Wrong verb form
got
time
for exercise and eat
good Wrong verb form
eating
food
. some of those started a new life
as they make comments and thanks giving
to Correct your spelling
thanksgiving
Correct article usage
the corona
corona virus
.
In Correct your spelling
coronavirus
sum
of it, people should Add an article
the sum
aware
of their daily routine, making their family healthy Add a missing verb
be aware
by
good habits if the Change preposition
with
parents
follow well, even animals they
have a very Correct pronoun usage
apply
puntual
routine as they Correct your spelling
punctual
never
behind Add a missing verb
are never
the
Correct article usage
apply
time
.last
but not the list people should invest time
for
better Change preposition
in
health
instead
of investing a
good money in Remove the article
apply
health
insurance.Submitted by sonal.shirke111 on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.