IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is better for young people to get the advises from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #ones
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It is beneficial for youth to receive admonishments from
elders
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instead
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 of their counterparts. I sincerely agreed
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
these
Change the determiner
this statement
these statements
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statement
Replace the word
states
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 because aged
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 give adequate counsel in every area of our lives and I will support
this
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 view with
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 in the
follwoing
Correct your spelling
following
 paragraphs.
First
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 of all, our
elders
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 gone through a lot of hurdles in
live
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life
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 which makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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be in
better
Add an article
a better
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 position to get
advices
Correct your spelling
advice
 from them. These experiences they gathered while growing up
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 them to be
more
Change the word
apply
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wiser in life.
Hence
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, they are in the best categories to make inputs to young
Use synonyms
people
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people's
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 lives when they see them going astray.
For instance
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, newlywed couples who are having issues managing their marriage, benefitted greatly when they seek guidance
frrm
Correct your spelling
from
 older couples.
Furthermore
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, younger
people
Use synonyms
 can get good
contribution
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contributions
show examples
 from
Correct article usage
the aged
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aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
 on how to manage their business effectively. The new generation is believed to be poor
in
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at
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 managing resources.
People
Use synonyms
 from the earlier generation who had witnessed what it takes to build a business, economic hardships and financial crisis
tends
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tend
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 to be more cautious when
handing
Correct your spelling
handling
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 their resources and their spending.
Consequently
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, they can use
this
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 experience to guide the young ones on to keep their resources well
incase
Correct your spelling
in case
show examples
 of rainy days. To conclude, young
people
Use synonyms
 can tremendously benefit from the experience of their
elders
Use synonyms
 and must always seek their guidance before taking any major decision.
This
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 essay discussed the important role that our
elders
Use synonyms
 play in shaping our decisions.
Submitted by olaryinkar on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • insight
  • mentorship
  • holistic
  • innovate
  • generation gap
  • revered
  • guidance
  • perspectives
  • values
  • societal norms
  • diversity
  • life lessons
  • outdated
  • relevance
  • challenges
  • technological advancements
  • creativity
  • tradition
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