Young people spend too much time and money following fashion trends (clothing, technology). To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

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It has become popular in recent years that the young invest more
money
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in clothing to be fashionable. While
appearance
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enhancement gives them more opportunities, I believe that wasting
money
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excessively on
clothes
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has negative impacts on
society
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. Investing
money
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to improve personal
appearance
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gives
people
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in early adulthood more opportunities. There is an increased chance for young professionals of having a good job, particularly for those who work in the hospitality industry where the
appearance
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of staff is very critical.
Similarly
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, these young working adults are more likely to be promoted, offered high income and overall achieve professional goals.
Furthermore
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, being dressed smartly makes young
people
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feel reassured by boosting their self-confidence.
As a result
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, they are more likely to be successful in social relationships because others admire and prefer to associate with them as they find them very attractive.
Nevertheless
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, irresponsibly maintaining the latest fashion has negative impacts on
society
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. The main issue is that it would burden the budgets of young
people
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because many of them just spend
money
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on fashionable
clothes
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instead
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of courses
such
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as foreign language, IT,
for example
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, to improve their essential skills.
Society
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will
therefore
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have generations who are stylish but ignorant and unskillful. Another negative effect would include the crime in youth crime rate as young
people
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simply steal expensive crimes
instead
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of buying them. They are
subsequently
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able to sell these
clothes
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to support the harmful wealthy habit
such
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as drug abuse that may cause an increasing number of psychological disorders and sequentially a new wave of violence. In conclusion, having a good
appearance
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through smart investment in
clothes
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will give young
people
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many opportunities,
otherwise
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,
this
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would have negative impacts on
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by chau99.tamphuc.thienkhoihcm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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