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Band 7

Young people spend too much time and money following fashion trends (clothing, technology). To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #money #fashion #trends #technology
It has become popular in recent years that the young invest more
money
 in clothing to be fashionable. While
appearance
 enhancement gives them more opportunities, I believe that wasting
money
 excessively on
clothes
 has negative impacts on
society
. Investing
money
 to improve personal
appearance
 gives
people
 in early adulthood more opportunities. There is an increased chance for young professionals of having a good job, particularly for those who work in the hospitality industry where the
appearance
 of staff is very critical.
Similarly
, these young working adults are more likely to be promoted, offered high income and overall achieve professional goals.
Furthermore
, being dressed smartly makes young
people
 feel reassured by boosting their self-confidence.
As a result
, they are more likely to be successful in social relationships because others admire and prefer to associate with them as they find them very attractive.
Nevertheless
, irresponsibly maintaining the latest fashion has negative impacts on
society
. The main issue is that it would burden the budgets of young
people
 because many of them just spend
money
 on fashionable
clothes
instead
 of courses
such
 as foreign language, IT,
for example
, to improve their essential skills.
Society
 will
therefore
 have generations who are stylish but ignorant and unskillful. Another negative effect would include the crime in youth crime rate as young
people
 simply steal expensive crimes
instead
 of buying them. They are
subsequently
 able to sell these
clothes
 to support the harmful wealthy habit
such
 as drug abuse that may cause an increasing number of psychological disorders and sequentially a new wave of violence. In conclusion, having a good
appearance
 through smart investment in
clothes
 will give young
people
 many opportunities,
otherwise
,
this
 would have negative impacts on
society
.
Submitted by chau99.tamphuc.thienkhoihcm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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