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At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situtation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situtation
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality of the world, it is stated that the tendency of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
 increases in many countries with
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large
number
 of young
adults
 when that of older ones is lower. While there are some admittedly drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem, I strongly believe that its positive influences are more significant. On the one hand, the
population
 of a
country
 with a larger
number
 of young
adults
 is problematic in some aspects.
First
 of all, in
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 natural way, the birth rate of a
country
 is proportional to the
number
 of young
adults
 living in
this
country
 because of the high rate of marriage.
This
 may result in the hot issue of
booming
Add an article
the booming
a booming
show examples
population
 which is one of the most current conscious problems. Along with that, the government has to make more effort and invest a high budget to address many
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 needs
such
 as education, health care, employment issues,etc.
Besides
, the amount of non-alternative resources will run out in the future when the demand is relatively higher than
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
show examples
.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that the aforementioned disadvantages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
pale in comparison with
significant
Correct article usage
the significant
show examples
 advantages below.
Firstly
, the large
number
 of young
adults
 is an important factor
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a
country
 to develop its economy.
In particular
, with the normal trend of economic development, technology takes a crucial role, so young
adults
 are the abundant
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 workforce who are proactive and ready to absorb scientific and technological improvements.
Thus
, many conventional sectors are stimulated to develop far
further
 in a modern way, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributive to the national gross earnings.
Moreover
, when the needs of residents are considerably increased over the available resources, young
adults
 can depend on applications of modern knowledge to create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative resources to satisfy their needs.
Furthermore
, the consuming markets of the world are
widened
Wrong verb form
widening
show examples
 because of the high demand of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
 in many countries. In conclusion,
although
 there are many reasonable negative effects of a young
population
country
, the convincing advantages of
this
 situation are more prominent.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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