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Writing Samples
Band 6

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situtation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situtation
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In
the
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apply
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reality of the world, it is stated that the tendency of
young
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the young
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population
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 increases in many countries with
the
Change the article
a
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 large
number
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 of young
adults
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 when that of older ones is lower. While there are some admittedly drawbacks
of
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to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem, I strongly believe that its positive influences are more significant. On the one hand, the
population
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 of a
country
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 with a larger
number
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 of young
adults
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 is problematic in some aspects.
First
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 of all, in
the
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a
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 natural way, the birth rate of a
country
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 is proportional to the
number
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 of young
adults
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 living in
this
Linking Words
country
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 because of the high rate of marriage.
This
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 may result in the hot issue of
booming
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the booming
a booming
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population
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 which is one of the most current conscious problems. Along with that, the government has to make more effort and invest a high budget to address many
human’s
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human
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 needs
such
Linking Words
 as education, health care, employment issues,etc.
Besides
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, the amount of non-alternative resources will run out in the future when the demand is relatively higher than
supply
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the supply
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.
On the other hand
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, I am convinced that the aforementioned disadvantages
are
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apply
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pale in comparison with
significant
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the significant
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 advantages below.
Firstly
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, the large
number
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 of young
adults
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 is an important factor
of
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for
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 a
country
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 to develop its economy.
In particular
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, with the normal trend of economic development, technology takes a crucial role, so young
adults
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 are the abundant
labor
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labour
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 workforce who are proactive and ready to absorb scientific and technological improvements.
Thus
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, many conventional sectors are stimulated to develop far
further
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 in a modern way, which
is
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apply
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contributive to the national gross earnings.
Moreover
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, when the needs of residents are considerably increased over the available resources, young
adults
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 can depend on applications of modern knowledge to create
the
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apply
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alternative resources to satisfy their needs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the consuming markets of the world are
widened
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widening
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 because of the high demand of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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population
Use synonyms
 in many countries. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many reasonable negative effects of a young
population
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country
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, the convincing advantages of
this
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 situation are more prominent.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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