Countries with long average working hours are economically more successful than those countries which do not work long hours. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The balance between working intensity and working efficiency has always been a hot topic prevailing in
Add an article
a discussion
the discussion
discussion
about economic success. From my perspective, those Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
countries
emphasizing long working hours
tilt towards economic failure and sluggish development.
In the first
place, national welfare can be impacted by extended working time
. The overwhelming work load
can force people to spare less Correct your spelling
workload
time
to conduct healthy activities, such
as sports and exercise, which may give rise to various health problems, leading to added
medical burden on the individuals and the government. Add an article
the added
Consequently
, countries
with shorter working time
can enjoy higher financial flexibility which lead
to better warfare than those with longer working Change the verb form
leads
time
, allocating large
part of financial resources to tackle national health issues.
Undoubtedly, Add an article
a large
countries
with intense workload
can achieve a greater amount of aggregate production which could result in short-term economic Fix the agreement mistake
workloads
prosperousness
. Replace the word
prosperity
However
, as far as company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
concern
, long working Wrong verb form
concerned
time
can bring low productivity resulted
from additional working Wrong verb form
resulting
hours
which may not truly lead to extra
Add an article
an extra
the extra
outcome
. Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
Besides
, high working intensity can refrain employees from innovations and technical improvement, which are the essential factors determining the quality and quantity of the products and services supplied by the firms. Eventually, in the long run, nations focusing on increasing workload tend to witness a slow-moving economic development attributed to poor technical breakthrough
in Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
the
productivity improvement.
To sum up, I reiterate the position that Correct article usage
apply
countries
with longer working hours
are not economically prosperous than
Change preposition
as
countries
focusing on shorter working intensity
. Fix the agreement mistake
intensities
This
is mainly because longer working hours
can foresee an
impaired social welfare and stagnant economic development caused by additional medical Remove the article
apply
burden
and inhibited efficiency progress than shorter working Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
time
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite