Countries with long average working hours are economically more successful than those countries which do not work long hours. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The balance between working intensity and working efficiency has always been a hot topic prevailing in
Add an article
a discussion
the discussion
discussion
about economic success. From my perspective, those Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
countries
emphasizing long working Use synonyms
hours
tilt towards economic failure and sluggish development.
In the Use synonyms
first
place, national welfare can be impacted by extended working Linking Words
time
. The overwhelming Use synonyms
work load
can force people to spare less Correct your spelling
workload
time
to conduct healthy activities, Use synonyms
such
as sports and exercise, which may give rise to various health problems, leading to Linking Words
added
medical burden on the individuals and the government. Add an article
the added
Consequently
, Linking Words
countries
with shorter working Use synonyms
time
can enjoy higher financial flexibility which Use synonyms
lead
to better warfare than those with longer working Change the verb form
leads
time
, allocating Use synonyms
large
part of financial resources to tackle national health issues.
Undoubtedly, Add an article
a large
countries
with intense Use synonyms
workload
can achieve a greater amount of aggregate production which could result in short-term economic Fix the agreement mistake
workloads
prosperousness
. Replace the word
prosperity
However
, as far as Linking Words
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
concern
, long working Wrong verb form
concerned
time
can bring low productivity Use synonyms
resulted
from additional working Wrong verb form
resulting
hours
which may not truly lead to Use synonyms
extra
Add an article
an extra
the extra
outcome
. Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
Besides
, high working intensity can refrain employees from innovations and technical improvement, which are the essential factors determining the quality and quantity of the products and services supplied by the firms. Eventually, in the long run, nations focusing on increasing workload tend to witness a slow-moving economic development attributed to poor technical Linking Words
breakthrough
in Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
the
productivity improvement.
To sum up, I reiterate the position that Correct article usage
apply
countries
with longer working Use synonyms
hours
are not economically prosperous Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
as
countries
focusing on shorter working Use synonyms
intensity
. Fix the agreement mistake
intensities
This
is mainly because longer working Linking Words
hours
can foresee Use synonyms
an
impaired social welfare and stagnant economic development caused by additional medical Remove the article
apply
burden
and inhibited efficiency progress than shorter working Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
time
Use synonyms
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite