IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

as countries develop, people tend to buy more cars. do you think the advantages for people outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #cars
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The development of a
country
Use synonyms
improve
Change the verb form
improves
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 the capability of its
people
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 to buy and consume
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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 things, one of them is
car
Add an article
the car
a car
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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transport. It's common to exist in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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developed nations as a standard of better living. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 in a developed nation tend to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 way of their
life
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 to create a more sophisticated
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
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. That's why buying more cars becoming a part of their
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
Use synonyms
 to shape their nation.
Besides
Linking Words
 improving their
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
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, buying manufactured thing like cars
also
Linking Words
 increase their industry of supply and demand in
market
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the market
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. There are a lot of advantages for
people
Use synonyms
 in
developed
Add an article
a developed
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Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 to buy
car
Add an article
a car
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 more than
one
Correct your spelling
once
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.
First
Linking Words
, it
make
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makes
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 them at ease since they can use the cars for their urgent necessity, either to transport them to another city during
business
Add an article
the business
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 day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or take them in
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
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. When one of their
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
show examples
 is broken, they can use another since they have many. But on the other side, we can't deny that developed
country
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also
Linking Words
 produce more consumptive
people
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 and it creates an extravagant
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
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, which
increase
Change the verb form
increases
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 more disparity. Rich
people
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 construct
the
Change the word
their
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 social
life
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 through their
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life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
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, so poor
people
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 getting left behind. In a nutshell, increasing the way of
life
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 through
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 promising
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
Use synonyms
 is not bad, but it
also
Linking Words
 comes with risk. The crux of
this
Linking Words
 point is, it will separate
people
Use synonyms
 through
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 disparity so the
country
Use synonyms
 will get
another problems
Replace the adjective
another problem
other problems
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 to tackle during their growth productivity and improvement.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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