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Band 4.5

as countries develop, people tend to buy more cars. do you think the advantages for people outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #cars
The development of a
country
improve
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improves
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 the capability of its
people
 to buy and consume
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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 things, one of them is
car
Add an article
the car
a car
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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transport. It's common to exist in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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developed nations as a standard of better living. In my opinion,
people
 in a developed nation tend to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 way of their
life
 to create a more sophisticated
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
. That's why buying more cars becoming a part of their
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
 to shape their nation.
Besides
 improving their
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
, buying manufactured thing like cars
also
 increase their industry of supply and demand in
market
Add an article
the market
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. There are a lot of advantages for
people
 in
developed
Add an article
a developed
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 to buy
car
Add an article
a car
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 more than
one
Correct your spelling
once
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.
First
, it
make
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makes
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 them at ease since they can use the cars for their urgent necessity, either to transport them to another city during
business
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the business
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 day
,
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apply
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 or take them in
emergency
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an emergency
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. When one of their
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
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 is broken, they can use another since they have many. But on the other side, we can't deny that developed
country
also
 produce more consumptive
people
 and it creates an extravagant
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
, which
increase
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increases
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 more disparity. Rich
people
 construct
the
Change the word
their
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 social
life
 through their
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
, so poor
people
is
Change the verb form
are
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 getting left behind. In a nutshell, increasing the way of
life
 through
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 promising
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
 is not bad, but it
also
 comes with risk. The crux of
this
 point is, it will separate
people
 through
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 disparity so the
country
 will get
another problems
Replace the adjective
another problem
other problems
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 to tackle during their growth productivity and improvement.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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