Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, smartphones became a big and
importanat
Correct your spelling
important
part of our lives. One of the common things for
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
we use our smartphones is
transferring
Change the verb form
to transfer
show examples
money
to friends, family and businesses. In my opinion,
this
development could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.
Accessibilty
Correct your spelling
Accessibility
is one of the important things
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people search for
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
show examples
life. Transferring
money
using
phone
Correct article usage
a phone
show examples
and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
is fast and available. With the help of gadgets and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Add a comma
,internet
show examples
it is possible to send
money
anywhere in the world.
For example
, in the past transferring
money
took a lot of time and action. Going to
bank
Add an article
the bank
show examples
, waiting in lines and other
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
actions.
This
new development made thousands of
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
life's
easier.
On the other hand
, accessibility and
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
are not always safe. Since technology and internet worlds are big and still developing there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
to be stolen or deceived.
For example
, thousands of hackers could steal
money
and deceive people. There is still no doubt
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
transffer
Correct your spelling
transfer
money
safely and successfully. All in all, individuals use smartphones to transfer
money
. Even if it is fast and available there is no doubt
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
of
operation
Correct article usage
the operation
show examples
. We
sacrafice
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
safety for accessibility.
Submitted by damirzhanamina1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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