It is better for students at university to live far away from home than to live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people argue that it is better for
students
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at university to live alone and be independent without their parents rather than to live at
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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home with their family. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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I completely agree with the second view, and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will explain why and draw my own conclusion. First of all, in terms of the benefits of living with parents for universities,
students
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might offer a comfortable and convenient environment to
can
Verb problem
apply
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focus more on their studies. The reason behind
this
Linking Words
is that they do not have to work in a part-time job or even make dinner for themselves
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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that is
Linking Words
definitely a great point for them to
can
Verb problem
be able to
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study in their leisure.
For example
Linking Words
, they would have many
times
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opportunities
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to
can
Verb problem
apply
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spend it to improve and develop themselves
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as learning a new language or
gaining
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taking
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a
huge
Correct word choice
large
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number of courses to
can
Verb problem
apply
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have an amazing career in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the advantages, there are a few drawbacks for
students
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who live in their
parent’s
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parents’
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house.
Firstly
Linking Words
, that might make them irresponsible and do what they need without
work
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working
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.
This
Linking Words
is because they will not know about
money’s
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the
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value.
Secondly
Linking Words
, learning how to be independent and how to gain money is more suitable at earlier ages
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as 18 to 22, and if they stay in their
parent’s
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parents’
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home might not have the chance and the opportunity to have an experience. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
living alone at an earlier age might be a fantastic experience. I believe that nothing is comfortable
like
Change preposition
than
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living with family for
students
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
You need to clarify your main points more clearly and ensure they directly respond to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a clearer structure in your paragraphs, with each containing a single main idea. Use linking words to connect your ideas.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear opinion on the topic, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You provided some examples to support your points, which is useful for the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • life skills
  • time management
  • self-discipline
  • university accommodations
  • shared housing
  • social network
  • immersive experience
  • campus activities
  • financial burden
  • emotional support
  • mental well-being
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