At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

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There is no doubt that these days, the population of some nations have a higher

number

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of young

adults

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rather than the

number

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of old

people

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. The question is, is the benefit of

this

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situation more than the downside? In

this

Linking Words

essay

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,essay

show examples

I am going to discuss the advantages and the disadvantages and draw my conclusions. In terms of advantages, the large

number

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of young

people

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will help the world. The main reason given to support

this

Linking Words

claim is that the majority of workers are young

adults

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. To illustrate, recent research from king Saud university in 2020 they find

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

people

Use synonyms

between 21 to 35 years old are the most common workers for government and crucial jobs .

In other words

Linking Words

, prince

Mohameed

Correct your spelling

Mohammed

bin Salman said “young

people

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are the future “ .

Also

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, the vision of 2030 is for Saudi youth.

However

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, the small

number

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of elderly

people

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might be

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the affect

an affect

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affect

Wrong verb form

affected

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show examples

our culture.

Firstly

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, grandparents who are they give us and explain

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to us

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the traditional culture.

In other words

Linking Words

, Few

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number

Change to a plural noun

numbers

show examples

of old

people

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might be

effect

Replace the word

effective

show examples

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show examples

lifestyle and how we live now and

forgotten

Wrong verb form

forget

show examples

the

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their

show examples

identity .

Secondly

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human behaviour might

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

change

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

kids.

This

Linking Words

is because they

teaches

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teach

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

respect and

the

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apply

show examples

responsibility.

Also

Linking Words

, old

people

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who are they give us the value of life. In conclusion, it is evident that

there

Correct word choice

although there

show examples

are

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show examples

positive

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the positive

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side

Fix the agreement mistake

sides

show examples

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show examples

the

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show examples

large

number

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of young

adults

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there

Correct word choice

but there

show examples

are many drawbacks . And young

adults

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should take care of older

people

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to prevent

this

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phenomenon from deteriorating future.

Submitted by Noufalbahouth5 on Sun Dec 11 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. Many others prefer to work for a small company first. What are the different advantages in each decision?